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II.     Clear the decks with God.  

In our hurt, Satan deceives us into making sinful choices.  And, while he may be the deceiver, it is still our sin.  James 5:16 indicates that there is a direct and specific correlation between our confession of sin and God's healing in our lives.  Here again, we need to understand what repentance and confession really is.  It's is not a chest-beating, sack-cloth and ashes, back-lashing session of guilt and groveling!  Repentance is simply agreeing with and turning to the truth and turning away from the sin.  Confession is simply stating that fact.  We seek God's forgiveness, not with shame and humiliation, but as a child simply running into daddy's arms for reconciliation.  We repent, confess, ask forgiveness -- and it is done.

The first thing for you to confess to God is your sin in hiding from Him and abandoning relationship with Him in an attempt to protect yourself.  Again, remember, this is not a shameful or humiliating thing.  It is a positive, not a negative.  Your sin is a fact and you want to restore the lost relationship.  This is how to do it.  God is just waiting for you to take the first step.

Another thing to remember is that this repentance/confession/forgiveness cycle is one that will be a daily thing for the rest of your life as you walk in relationship with God.  God's work in our lives, from the time we accept Christ until the moment we are perfected in heaven, is to expose our areas of unbelief and sin and conform us into the image of Christ.  That always necessitates repentance, confession and forgiveness as the Holy Spirit reveals to us these areas of our lives.

III.     Forgive your husband with an open hand and heart.

This is a hard one but absolutely critical.   

Matthew 6:15
But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

That's pretty clear-cut!  God goes into this principle in more depth in Matthew 18:21-35.

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin

against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until

seventy times seven.

Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.

And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.

But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.

The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.

But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.

And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.

So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.

Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:

Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?

And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

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