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Now, it might seem unfair that Adam and Eve could make such a choice and lock the rest of us into it.  The truth, however, is that we ALL make our own sin choices, too.  And our sin choice is the same as theirs -- I will be my god.  And my sin is no different than theirs in its consequences.  I can't blame it all on Adam and Eve!  If I have ever once made a sin choice of my own, I have merely affirmed the decision they made. 

Because God has limited Himself to the consequences of mankind's sin choice, He allows Satan a free hand on the earth.  He does intervene, and, in spite of Satan's attempts to the contrary, God has a bigger plan at work that He WILL and DOES accomplish.  But the injustices of this life are merely the natural consequences of mankind's choice to sin.  At the same time that God will not force you to love and obey Him, He will not force your husband to do so either -- even if that means that you are hurt by your husband's sin. 

This is a hard, hard truth.  At the same time, it can be liberating to understand it.  When I finally understood this, it made a huge difference in my dealing with the injustices I experienced in my marriage.  For one thing, I realized that God wasn't doing all this to me.  This was quite simply sin at work.  I also realized that God hadn't abandoned me in this place.  This wasn't "His will" for my life -- which would mean that He was a cruel and harsh God to me.  It also helped me to better understand and pray for my husband.  The problem wasn't that God wasn't answering my prayers.  The problem was that my husband was walking in bondage to sin and God would not force him to change.  God would attempt to draw my husband to Him, in answer to my prayers, but God would not force my husband to turn to Him.

Another factor in dealing with this situation is remembering that God cannot be anything other than Who He is.  In this particular case, the attribute in question is whether God is truly just.  Of course, the Word says that God is just.  Justice is not merely an ideal He upholds.  God is just -- this is a fundamental description of who He is.  He cannot act in any other manner. 

However, one attribute of God cannot be isolated from all the others.  God is just. He is also long-suffering and patient.  God is love.  God is the Redeemer.  These are just a few of the absolute characteristics of God, but these are the ones in particular I wanted to note in this situation.

God is love.  His love for your former husband is no less than His love for you.  Because He desires that "all should come to repentance" (II Peter 3:9) He is long-suffering and patient.  He doesn't extend this patience toward your husband to hurt you or in neglect of you.  He does it because He loves your husband.  In fact, as you are praying for your husband, this is what you are praying for!  God is answering your prayers in His patience.

But what about God's justice?  Let's look at some Scripture. 

John 5:22  For the Father judgeth no man, but hath committed all judgment unto the Son.

John 5:27  And hath given him authority to execute judgment also, because he is the Son of man.

Here we see that the Father has given over the function of judgment to Jesus.  This is an important thing to note before seeing this next fact.

Joh 12:47-48  And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.

He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day.

Notice when this Scripture says that God's judgment will be enacted.  Yes, God is a God of justice.  But during this time on earth, God, through His Son Jesus, is extending mercy to mankind.  God judgment, the exercise of His justice, will take place at the end of time!  As long as your husband remains alive, God's patience will be extended toward him.  That doesn't mean that your husband's choices will have no negative consequences -- because sooner or later they will.  What he sows he will reap.  But those consequences may have nothing whatever to do with making you feel better.  He may never acknowledge what he has done to hurt you.  The truth is that his sinful choices are between him and God, first and foremost.

So, where does that leave you?  Knowing the truth about God's justice and patience does nothing to alleviate your very real pain.  I will address this question separately in the second section -- When God's justice leaves me hurting.

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