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Another critical part of developing a deep friendship is safety and security.  For a friendship to ever develop into a deep one there must be certainty that you are safe in this relationship.  You can share your greatest hurts and your deepest needs and the other will not betray your confidence.  They value you so much that they will protect your heart and you will do the same for them.

Another key factor in developing a friendship is communication.  No matter how much time you spend together, you would probably never become close friends if you never spoke!  This communication is also not simple social politeness.  There is an exchange of personal dialogue.  This communication is also not one-sided.  For a friendship to develop, both parties share themselves with each other.  The depth of the relationship grows as the depth of conversation grows.  In a very close friendship, there is practically nothing that one does not know about the other.  And this makes us feel valued, loved and safe.

A final part of the development of a close friendship is sacrifice.   At some point, you come to know that you can count on the other for help and you are willing offer help in return.   Whether it's help with the kids, help with a project or a shoulder to cry on, you will go out of your way and sacrifice whatever you can to help a true friend.

All of these elements are necessary for the development of a close relationship.  When we think about human relationships we look at that list and think it is obvious.  But we don't translate that same realization into our relationship with God.

Who is God and what is He like?  We tend to view God as characterized by some of His attributes without realizing the significance of others.  For example, we know that God is Holy, that He cannot look upon sin, and that He is a just judge who executes wrath on those who don't meet His expectations.    But we don't know enough about Him to know that as His children He sees only Christ's perfect sacrifice, we are completely exonerated in His sight and He has no wrath toward His  children.  There are other characteristics of God that we know about but limit to particular functions.  For instance, we know that God is good, but we don't realize that since He is good He cannot do bad to us as His children.  We know that God offers us salvation by grace but we don't realize that grace is part of God's fundamental character and he acts toward us with grace all the time.  We know that God is our Redeemer but don't realize that as a fundamental part of His character this means He redeems more than just our eternal souls.   He has a redemptive plan for our circumstances, our relationships and our hurts.  We know that God is love but we tend to limit His love to His provision of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross.  And there are some characteristics of God we do not even know about.

Because of this incomplete understanding of God we tend to see Him as being distant.  We feel that, because He is so holy, He has to keep some distance between Himself and our humanness.  Since we feel that the expression of His love was complete at Calvary, His "feelings" toward us now are probably mixed with a little disapproval, or a little disappointment, or that He is a stern disciplinarian.  A lot of the way we see God is a reflection of our relationship with our human father.  If we know that our human father loved us and His way of showing love was primarily by making sure we toed the line, we will see God the same way.

But the truth is something far, far different!  Here's what the Word says about the way God feels about us.

Matthew 7:11  If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

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