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When we apply these Scriptural principles to parenting we see a far different "style" of parenting than most of us have experienced or practice. So much of what is taught about parenting is based on the basic principle that as parents we need to establish and maintain authority over our children and be sure we make them obey. But these verses present a different concept. Jesus' model of leadership was being a servant. How many of us have ever thought about applying that to our parenting? As a servant leader I would not dominate my children through authoritarian force. I model love to them through servant leadership.

The Word says we love God because He first loved us. There is a cause and effect relationship there. The Word also indicates that obedience follows love (Jn. 14:15). So, if God's model is good enough for Him then it should be good enough for us. This would indicate that my children will come to love me as I unconditionally love and serve them, and their obedience will be a natural result of their love.

Here are some more interesting Scriptures:

Gal. 6:1 " Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

II Tim. 2:24-26 "And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,

In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;

And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.

There are many more such Scriptures throughout the New Testament, but for the sake of establishing the principle these will suffice. If we apply these verses to our parenting, is there room for speaking harshly to our children or raising our voices at them, much less yelling at them? God's model for correction is meekness, gentleness, and patience.

I have noticed that there is a way that adults tend to speak to children when correcting them. We talk "down" to them. If you ever think about it, try mentally translating those words and that tone of voice to a conversation with a co-worker or another peer. We wouldn't dream of speaking to another adult that way! It is disrespectful. But children are just as worthy of respect as adults. Jesus demonstrated this attitude in Mark 10:13-16 when He said "… Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God." Jesus treated children with the utmost respect and value. And God treats us with respect and value. He doesn't speak harshly to us or treat us with disrespect. Even His rebukes are given gently and in love, motivated by His kindness, and with never-ending patience.

I have realized lately, as a mother of teens, that a lot of the teenage "lip" is merely the same tone of voice I have used coming back to haunt me! Coming out of the mouth of a child it sounds appallingly disrespectful. But they have been spoken to that way and have learned that there's a way "kids" can speak and a way "grown ups" can speak. When they hit their teens they believe they are "grown up" enough to talk the same way. It is wrong, but it is only what I have taught them.

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