Titus 2 Men And Women

God's Chamber Pot
(When Life Is Unfair)
Danette Tucker

Some people seem to go through life so easily.  No major traumas upset their world.  No catastrophes throw their lives into chaos.  No irreconcilable loss sends their days into darkness.  I have to admit there have been days when I have asked God why life is so unfair.  I can't tell you how many times I have sat through a women's gathering and listened to women moan about how hard their lives are because their baby is crying at night and they are tired.  The whole time I listened, I was living with the knowledge that there was a black secret in my home causing me anguish these other women couldn't even imagine.  One time I heard a woman share her testimony about how she went through a period of two years when her teenage son was straying and living in rebellion and how hard that was.  While what she experienced was very real, I sat in my chair and wrote in my journal,  "Two years?!  How about 14 years [of watching a family member stray and having to deal with the results of their sin as it affects my own life]!  How much longer, God?!"  While the other women in the room were impressed and inspired by her endurance and tribulation, I grieved in silence and solitude. 

For years I thought of myself as God's chamber pot.  In my mind, a chamber pot is the least honorable vessel a home could have.  It's only purpose was to hold waste.  I read Romans 9:21 which says, " Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?"  I thought that God had just made me a vessel of dishonor and who was I to complain?  He can do with me whatever He desires.  I was just God's chamber pot -- necessary but not something you'd show off to company because you liked it so much!

What happens when life is unfair?  I never thought my life would go down the path it has gone.  We tend to think that hard times are reserved for people who abandon God, backslide or rebel and go out into sin.  But what about when trouble finds us in spite of doing "everything right?"  What about when we don't "deserve" the junk that comes our way?   I grew up in a Christian home, was saved as a child, never rebelled and always desired a life of full-time ministry.  What I experienced was sexual molestation, spiritual abuse, financial hardship, miscarriage, infertility, marital abuse, I've watched my children suffer, I've sometimes feared for our lives, I've feared the loss of my children to the state, and I've endured over 14 years of marital pain.  How unfair is all that?

There are a lot of us whose lives have been more or less defined by the scars of our undeserved pain.  I have thought many times about Joseph in the Bible (Genesis 27-45).  Talk about someone who didn't deserve what happened to him!  When we look at that story we view it from the perspective that we have heard it a million times since our childhood.  We know how the story ends and don't think about it much.  But Joseph was an ordinary person, who walked out that "story" over the course of a lifetime.  And for many years of his life, there was no "end" of the story in sight.  God had given him a glimpse of the future in his visions as a child, but there was nothing tangible to hold to in the long dark years of slavery, injustice and abandonment.  When hope was held out it was snatched away again.  When things seemed to be turning around, they fell back into even greater, or continued, darkness.  

Have you ever walked there?  I know I have.  What do we hold onto when life seems like it will never get better -- when it seems we'll never get to the "end" of the story?

Here's how the Word has encouraged me --

Rom. 5:3-5  "And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;  And patience, experience; and experience, hope:  And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."  This verse tells me that one of the results of being patient through suffering will be the love of God broadcast in my heart.  When I walk the path of hardship with patience, leading to experience, then leading to hope, I also see the truth of God's hand of love toward me!  And I can say from lots of experience that this is TRUE!!!

Rom. 12:12  "Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;"  You know, sometimes it just seems impossible to rejoice in the hardship, but when I focus on the truth of God's faithfulness, love and presence in my life I can rejoice in hope.  Hope isn't based on what is tangible, it is based on a confident expectation of what is to come.  And this I know, God will be glorified through my life.  This next verse is another thing I know, and can take hope in...

Rom. 8:28  "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."  Does God mean what He says?  Of course He does!  So I can be completely confident that He WILL work all the circumstances of my life together for good.  I had to come to the place where I was confident that God would work all the things of my life together for good, even if my circumstances never changed.  If I truly believe in His sovereignty, which is just as true as His love for me, I have to trust His hand and His work in my life!

Rom. 8:35-39  "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?  As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.  Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.   For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,  Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Do I really believe God's word?  This says that nothing can separate me from His love for me -- not an abusive past (or present), not a wayward child, not a wandering spouse, not the abandonment of my family, friends or church, not the loss of a child in death, not long-term debilitating illness, not a crippling accident, NOTHING.  When I look at the dark days of my life and then look at these verses I find God's love overwhelming.

Another thing that these verses say is that the love of God is found in Christ Jesus our Lord.  As we get to know Christ better through our hard times we learn more and more the truth of what God's love for us looks like.  Until our unbelief or wrong beliefs are challenged through our circumstances we do not take the time and trouble to look deeper and seek God to reveal the truth of how He sees us and how He relates to us in love.

Phil 1:6  "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:"  This verse gives me hope that no matter how many years have passed without resolution of the trials of my life, it's not over until it's over!  I haven't died yet!  And there are occasions when death IS the culmination and ultimate victory.  I think when you have a life of hardship you have a greater appreciation of the joy that waits after this physical life.  I am so ready to go whenever God gives the word!  I don't want to rush the end of my earthly life just to escape (though that thought has crossed my mind!) but because I am really looking forward to seeing my friend, my Father and the love of my life.  In the meantime, God has a plan and He will never stop working toward it's completion.

James 1:2-5  "My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.  But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.  If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."   Wow -- count it all joy.  Do I do that?  I have to admit that I often do not view my trials with joy.  But when I choose to focus on the truth, as Phil. 4:8 admonishes the result is joy.  Phil. 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."  We see this modeled repeatedly throughout the Psalms.  David is brutally honest about his feelings but he always comes back around to the truth of who God is and what He has done.  David ends up full of joy regardless of the circumstances.

I Peter 1:6-8  "Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:  That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:   Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:"  Again, this Scripture reminds us to face our hardships with rejoicing.  

There's a subtle difference between joy and rejoicing.  Joy comes from the inside out as we focus on the truth.  Rejoicing is a choice of the will.  Music is a particularly powerful tool to help us make this choice to rejoice.  I strongly recommend collecting a variety of cassettes, CDs or videos with uplifting music, especially music that you can sing along with.  Psalms says to make a joyful noise in praise to God -- and God doesn't limit that to the quality of your singing voice!  When you are feeling down, make the conscious choice to listen to uplifting music or just lift your voice to God in praise without the aid of other music.  Did you know there are nine references in Scripture to singing a new song to the Lord?  (Ps. 33:3, Ps. 40:3, Ps. 96:1, Ps. 98:1, Ps. 144:9, Ps. 149:1, Is. 42:10, Rev. 5:9, Rev. 14:3)  You don't have to sing a song that someone has written down somewhere.  Just sing out your praises to God -- who cares whether it’s a masterpiece of musical composition and poetic perfection?  It will be beautiful to God because He loves your voice, which is a part of the way He made you.

These verses in I Peter 1:6-8 also include another telling phrase -- the trial of our faith is much more precious than gold.  Do we see our trials that way?  I know I have often not seen my hardships from that perspective.  But the Word says my trials are much more precious than gold -- precious.  Jesus is precious, my children are precious, I have some friends who are precious -- are my trials precious?  As I have walked in the truth of these Scriptures, I have come to see my trials as precious.  God has given me a treasure in the hardship of my circumstances that I wouldn't trade for anything.  I wouldn't want to go back to the beginning and start over, but I wouldn't trade what God has given me either.  I know God in ways that are truly precious to me.

When I was in college, my voice instructor was also a very skilled pianist.  He said that people would often say to him, "Oh, I wish I could play the piano like that."  Sometimes his response was, "No, you don't.  Most people are unwilling to make the sacrifice necessary to play the piano like this.  It takes many years of several hours of daily practice to learn, and then hours of daily practice to maintain."  That is so true!  Many people are unwilling to walk a hard path with God but that hard path is where we learn to see God in deeper ways.  I treasure every nugget of truth that God has revealed about Himself through the dark painful days of my life.

II Cor. 1:3-5  "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;  Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.  For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ."  The only way to truly know God as Comforter is to need and then walk in His comfort.  His comfort is not theoretical, it is literal. 

Notice also that He comforts us in our trials so that we will be able to comfort others who are in trouble with that same comfort!  I clung to this truth throughout my dark days.  I knew that God had placed a call and desire in my life to minister to other believers about the truth of what it really means to have a relationship with God.  Through the dark years God has shown me His truth about my circumstances and how He wants to use them to teach me about Himself, so I have real comfort to share with others.  I know God in the dark places because He has revealed Himself to me there.  My life has been transformed through those hard days and nights and because of that I know how He wants to do that for you too!

I mentioned that there were a lot of years when I truly thought of myself as God's chamber pot.  But I discovered a wonderful thing in God's Word not long ago, that literally moved me to tears.  II Tim. 2:20-21 says, "But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour.   If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work."  God's children are not intended to be vessels of dishonor!  I am not God's chamber pot!!  When I submit myself to His hands to transform me throughout my life I AM a vessel of honor, suitable for God's use -- and there's nothing more valuable than that!  I am a unique vessel, specially crafted by God for a particular purpose at this exact time in history.  And He has a purpose just as honorable and beautiful for you. 

Life is never unfair.  Life is just different for different people.  God never promised any of us a "perfect" life.  He designs our paths for His purpose and His glory -- and it doesn't get better than that.  I hope you will learn, as I have, that there is treasure in the dark days!!

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