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One year, as our family was anticipating a move from one area of the country to another, I watched as two separate sets of couples, both potential renters, came through a "tour" of our house.

The first couple had one little boy under one and a set of twins on the way.  As they began the tour of our very small home, I found it strange that they sat the baby, in an infant carrier, on our sofa and then walked away.

This relatively young infant, under 8 months at my guess, was awake, alert and very obviously observing everything that was taking place around him.  As soon as we walked out of that room, he began to fuss.

I am sure this vocalizing was his very small, infant way of asking "where did my Mommy and Daddy, my only sense of security I have at this young of age, go in this strange place I have never been before?"  I asked if it were okay if I took him out of the carrier.  They barely glanced at me and mumbled a consent.

As I, this strange lady, carried him through this strange house, he was fascinated by the ceiling fan lights.  He gurgled and half smiled through our little journey.  When we arrived back in the room we had started in, the mother asked to take him, "since he was so heavy."

I am sorry, but I am a very strong, capable mid-fortyish woman who has raised 2 grown children and currently has a very active 7 year old.  I am not feeble, nor infirmed, neither would anyone accuse me of being small or petite.   For her to offer to take a non-complaining, non-squirming, albeit roly poly 7 month old off my hands, because he was "so heavy" seemed strange to me indeed.

I told her it was the "grandma instinct" in me that didn’t mind holding this precious little one.  She took him from my arms and IMMEDIATELY placed him back in the cold, sterile confines of that infant carrier.

The second couple had 3 children under 6. The oldest boy tumbled down our steps from the second floor and bloodied his nose rather badly after coming to an abrupt stop at the wall at the bottom of the stairs.  His little sister carried Caleb’s horse barn around with her during her entire visit and the baby stayed in the baby carrier ON THE FLOOR in the kitchen.  Never at any point during this couples tour through our house did either of them speak directly to their own children (with the exception of the bloody nose incident), let alone LOOK at them to see what they were up to.

Reflecting on these 2 different yet similar situations, it occurred to me that the children were NOT the focus of these parents.  WE were, OUR CONVERSATIONS were, but what these children were doing was NOT a primary concern of either set of parents.

I have many possible reasons running through my mind for this lack of concern, but one that has ranckled on me for quite a while was this new way of transporting  children...those cold, plastic infant carriers, created to simulate mommy’s arms, but a very poor substitute indeed.

The same day, just a few hours before couple number one came to view our house, as I was running some errands,  I glanced up from where I was parked to an adjoining parking lot where I saw an old friend with her newest addition to the family. 

This friend had prayed for YEARS for this child.  This was a much prayed for, much anticipated birth.  We used to live in close proximity to each other, but when we purchased our home, we lost touch.  I have run into this friend a few times in stores and never ONCE have I seen her carrying or actually touching this much prayed for infant.  This particular day was no different.

It was a very bright, warm, sunny day. She had parked her vehicle, walked around to the other side, then grabbed THE INFANT CARRIER, walked to an ATM machine, made a transaction, then lugged the infant carrier back to the vehicle, strapped it back in, then left. 

She did not see me, but it occurred to me finally, that the infant carrier appeared very heavy and the reason for this was because this much prayed for infant was now over one year old, probably capable of taking mommy’s hand and toddling to the ATM machine beside her.

Why on earth would she not have just unstrapped THE CHILD, carried this very small one year old on her hip the few feet to the machine, and CARRY her back???? Or set her on the pavement, grab her chubby little hand and have her walk the few short steps to the machine and back again?  In my opinion, most of those infant carriers are heavier BY THEMSELVES than just one small child.

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