Titus 2 Men And Women

Personal Testimony
by Doris Smith

I was raised in rural Arkansas, a place where the creation of God still sings His glory each day. I accepted Christ as my savior when I was in grade school. I can’t give you a date, but I know it was the morning service. I remember the sun shining through the windows of that old white church house, and I knew when I heard the sermon about Christ dying on the cross for me, of all people, that I had an emptiness only He could fill. I was afraid of anything except not having Him. He’s never left me in all these years! Never again have I felt so empty. I love the feeling of Christ in me!

I now live barely over one mile from my childhood home, but the steps to get back there made me see myself in a different light than I ever had before. My brother and I never did without, but we never had quite what all the other children did. Both of my parents worked very hard to see that my brother and I always had food on the table, and clothes on our backs. In school every teacher thought I was a great student with good to average grades, and good behavior. The other children were another story. I was short, over weight, and all around pretty plain. I had some friends, most of whom suffered the same plight as me. We were “those” kids. We didn’t fit in, the out cast, we weren’t “preppy,” and we weren’t smart enough to be nerds. We were just “those” kids who never really had a place at school. I cried so many tears. I just wanted to, as we say, “fit in.” At one point in college I even changed myself to “fit in.” I hated the person I became worse than I hated not being part of the crowd! I used to look in the mirror and hope that when I closed my eyes and opened them again I would be who it was that guy I liked really wanted in a girl. You know three inches taller, half my size, (I can’t remember what it’s like to be skinny) blond hair, or maybe red. I wanted pretty eyes, not these blah green ones. I just couldn’t get past what the world wanted me to be. I saw only ugliness when I looked in the mirror!

God saw me differently though. God saw beauty. He took all of those tears and gave me joy. He’s helped me overcome so many sins and carried me through so many struggles. Over the years I have grown more inward, I hope, than out. In 2002 I received a Bachelors of Arts in Communication with a minor in theater. Through this and other experiences God has shown me a desire to glorify and magnify Him in all that I say and do. I have found my true beauty, my God! I hope and pray that as you read what God has laid on my heart that He will bless you as much as He has me!

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