Titus 2 Men And Women

Abortion Aftermath

by Stacy Conners

My girl friends and my sister-in-law all thought I should have an abortion. I discussed it with my doctor and my mother, who had to be involved because I was a minor. The doctor explained the proceedure to me and made the appointment at the clinic. The baby's father went a little 'nuts' when I told him my plan. Our friendship went from cheap threats to actual violence rather quickly. In the end, though, he agreed to pay for the abortion, gave my mother the money, and never spoke to me again.

My mother took me to the clinic and everything went the way it was suppose to. I went back to school the next week and no one ever brought it up again. Not any of my friends or a single member of my family has ever mentioned the abortion. It was conveniently forgotten by everyone; forgotten by everyone except me!

My child would have been 14 in March of this year. I usually think of this baby as a boy, and strangely I do consider him one of my children. I think of how very naïve I was; how little I knew about life back then. I regret how I handled the father. He had been very supportive of me in earlier days, and I broke his heart by destroying his child. I look at my children now and sincerely hope that he found a way to get past it. That he has all the happiness he deserves in life.

When the word "abortion" is brought up in conversation the reactions tend to be widely varied and are often hard to predict. In any group of women you could hear:
"It's a fine legal form of birth control."
"It's OK, in cases of rape, incest, or when the life of the mother is at risk."
"Never, it's taking a human life. Murder."
The variety and vehemence of opinion has made it hard for most women, and by women I mean any female capable of concieving a child, to seek out allies. Without allies, women end up suffering with their feelings of shame and fear in silence.

There is a tremendous amount of hatred generated by those who fall into the "Never" category. Because of the prejudice, not prejudice of color or creed, but prejudice just the same most of us hide, or deny, or speak in whispers to friends. We are afraid of being judged for the option we chose and not for who we are or who we have become. We are scared and saddened.

There is no outward signs that a woman has had an abortion-no scars or marks. The girl who's labeled a "tramp" may never have had one but the girl "next door" just may have. You might never know unless you non-judgmentally ask the right questions.

Behind every woman who has an abortion there is a story that led her to that choice. The story may be painful, mis-directed, or heartbreaking. Don't we all have painful stories? I know I have others besides my abortion. All of us have had broken hearts and crushed feelings. All of us have made mistakes. It is important to listen, to try to learn, and to grow from the experiences of those around us. Take what others can give us and give back caring and understanding.

Abortion is not something to be taken lightly. No matter who you are; you can not escape the reality of what you are actually doing. It is ending a life before it has a chance to grow. The proceedure takes a matter of minutes, but the repercussions last a lifetime. You may always wonder if you did have it in you to raise him. You may wonder if God can forgive you or if you will burn in Hell forever.

If you have had an abortion you must remember there are others who feel the same way you feel. You are not alone, even if you are on your couch, in your home, physically alone; there are others doing exactly the same thing. Sitting by themselves, pondering choices made, options ruled out. We are never truly alone, we just need to reach out and we'll find we all have things to share.

May each of you find comfort and hope in this my story. God has promised that He will forgive our sins and remember them no more. We can not go back and change the past; but we can be cleansed and go forward without guilt.
Stacy Connors

1John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Jeremiah 31:34b
"Know the LORD: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the LORD: for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more."

Psalm 139:1-16 & 23-24
"O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me.

Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.

Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?

If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.

Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

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