Titus 2 Men And Women

FRIENDSHIP

A friend loveth at all times...Proverbs 17:17..

A friend is someone who is always there
In sunshine or shadow or rain
Rejoicing when you do or wiping your tears
Or helping you get through your pain.

A Study on Friendship prepared by

Martha A. Whiting

What is a friend? Webster says it is someone on terms of affection and regard for another who is neither relative nor lover. Someone who freely supports and helps out of good will.

David and Jonathan were soulmates. A soulmate is a second self, someone who is very much like you. Their relationship was one of genuine love. I Samuel 18:3 says "He loved him as he loved himself." Jonathan even took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David along with his armor, his sword, his bow and his belt. Jonathan demonstrated great love and there was no jealousy even though he realized that David was to be the next king of Israel. Jonathan should have succeeded his father on the throne but God had other plans and Jonathan showed nothing but unselfish devotion to his rival, going as far as making a covenant with David. Truly their souls were knit together. The story of their friendship in the old testament is one of the greatest examples of devotion in the Bible.

The close relationship that David and Jonathan shared spoke for itself. They understood each other. They didn’t have to explain themselves. They were completely at home in each other’s presence. We all need a friend like that. I would dare to say that most of us have many acquaintances but very few friends. It is important though for every woman to have a close relationship with another woman. While your mate may be able to comfort you and encourage you when you are in distress, there is no one who can understand and identify like another woman. Why is this? We are made different. Men are from Mars, women are from Venice. Women are made up of emotions that men don’t always understand. God made us different (and aren’t you glad He did?) I’m not suggesting that anyone should come between a husband and wife for when you marry you become one flesh, but there is a special bond between women friends that is very unique and very needful in the world we live in today.

FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS

Friends have an enormous impact on our spiritual walk-for good or for evil.

1. What kind of friends should we have? Certainly we should have a wise friend for A wise friend will facilitate growth. We need a friendship with one who will love us enough to correct us when we need it. We all want to be praised and encouraged but we need someone to rebuke us as well.
   
   We also need a friend who will listen and share our deepest concerns. Proverbs 15:31 says "The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise." Proverbs 16:24 reminds us that "Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones." We all love pleasant words do we not?. Emery Nester tells the following story:
   
   "A man was walking in a wilderness. He became lost and was unable to find his way out. Another man met him.  Sir I am lost. can you show me the way out of this wilderness? No, said the stranger, I cannot show you the way out of this wilderness, but maybe if I walk with you we can find our way out together."
   
   That ladies, is friendship. The kind of friend I would want, wouldn’t you? One who is willing to lend a hand and help. One who will go that extra mile. I think we can learn a lesson from this and perhaps this week we can be a Titus woman to a young woman or teenager by writing a note of encouragement to her, praising her for ways you have seen her live for Christ, and encouraging her to remain strong.   
   
   
2. What kind of friend should I be?
   
   One kind of friend we don’t want to be or to have for that matter are the kind of "friends" that Job had.
   
   Proverbs 27:9 says that ointment and perfume rejoice the heart. Romans 15:14 says "And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another." Hebrews 10:24 says "And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works." Notice the scripture says we are to consider one another. We can’t rush in like gang busters to admonish without consideration, love, or concern for our friend and her feelings. We must be honest however and not agree with our friend just to keep from hurting her feelings. Sometimes it is necessary to rebuke. We must, however, remember to speak in love and not have a high and mighty or pious attitude. We must show kindness and compassion. Scripture says in Galatians 6:1 that we are to bear one another’s burden. A dear friend and former deacon in my church was fond of saying "if I have a problem it should be your problem too and if you have a problem then it should also be mine." That is true friendship. Romans 12:15 says, "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." I read a story once about a little girl that was late coming home from school. She had always been prompt and the later she was the more worried and upset her mother became. When she finally came home, her mother with an angry edge to her voice asked where she had been. "With Sally", she replied. " She dropped her doll and it broke in so many pieces that it couldn’t be fixed." Her mother then demanded to know why she didn’t just come home since she couldn’t do anything about the broken doll. The little girl looked up at her mother and very sweetly said, "I did do something to help Sally. I cried with her." What a lesson we can learn from that. Sometimes words are inadequate and maybe all we can do for our friend is put our arms around her and weep with her. Tears have a language all their own. 

We mentioned earlier about being a good listener. 

.One of the secrets of being a good talk show host is having the ability to listen rather than do all the talking. Maybe none of us are going to be talk show hosts but we can learn something from that principal. I have heard it said that the reason God gave us two ears and only one mouth is so we can listen twice as much as we speak. Could be. Here are four tips to help us be our own talk show host all day long.

1. We must be careful not to show shock or bias when our friend/family member confides in us. They will clam up and not be willing to share anything with you if you show shock or act in a disapproving manner. Not only must we keep our mouths shut when our friend is pouring her heart out, we must keep it shut afterward and make sure we keep her confidence. Trust is very important.
2. Give your friend your undivided attention. Nothing is more irritating than to be talking to someone who is looking over your shoulder at someone else and acting like they can’t wait to break away from you. Body language is important. Make eye contact and really listen even if the problem seems insignificant to you. Never act as if you are merely enduring until something better comes along
3. Keep the conversation flowing. If your friend seems to be having difficulty in talking about her problems you might want to prod her along by asking about her feelings on the matter or for detail. If you show an interest and warmth, your friend will feel important and will be more apt to confide in you.
4. Listen carefully. It has been said that ninety percent of all communication is nonverbal. Again, the body language. Anyone can tell whether or not you are interested in what is being said. Do you really care or is your mind wandering thinking of all the things that you need to be doing? It is important for a wife to make time for her husband and to listen to him. A wife makes time for her job, her kids, the PTA, her mother-in-law but all too often not her husband. A mistress, however will. The essential ingredient of communication is the ability to listen. The word wisdom in Hebrew means, "A heart that listens." That’s a heart with ears. Love listens. The two go hand in hand, or ear by ear

As we ask ourselves what characteristics we would like in a friend, we need to examine our own hearts and see if we are showing forth that characteristic to our friends. We must ask ourselves periodically just what like of friend we are. Are we giving and just how much of ourselves do we give?

 Would you buy a house if you were only allowed to see one of its rooms? Would you buy a car if you could only see the tires and taillights? One failure doesn’t make a person a failure One achievement doesn’t make a person a success. Be patient in affliction. In Ruth chapters 2 and 3 we see how Ruth kept stoking the fire despite the fact that Naomi might have hurt her feelings. Has a friend ever hurt you and caused you to withdraw? We can learn from the model of Ruth. We are drawn to people who are like us. Therefore if we have a strong relationship with God, we are likely to attract others who do so as well. As a Christian our best friend should also be a Christian. The scripture asks what fellowship hath light with darkness? And also in Amos 3:3 "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" The answer obviously is no. We need to take great care in choosing our friends.

There are three common reasons that friendships die:  distance, stress, and betrayal.  When the friendship is very close and you feel like your soulmate has betrayed you, you may lose your desire to keep working on the friendship, and like an untended fire, it dies.  We should know that everyone, no matter how dear, is going to let us down sooner or later because everyone has a sin nature.  The book of Ruth shows us the reality of forgiveness in action.  We would do well to study the book of Ruth and pattern ourselves after her.

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