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I was born in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. My mom and dad, sister and I moved from there and finally settled in the lower part of Michigan where I grew up. I have been reflecting on the day of my salvation lately and wanted to share some of my life with you. I want to give a little background before I was saved that may help others.

I sometimes went to a Lutheran Church with my mom, especially on holidays. The church taught that Jesus died on the cross and that He came to save the world, but I was spiritually dead. I did not know Jesus as my personal Savior but I was searching.

As a child growing up I was miserable and always trying to fit in; always hoping that someone loved me. My family loved me in their own way, I am sure of that, but they didn't know how to behave as a family should. All they did was fight and argue. I was a confused little girl. My dad was a mean alcoholic. When he was drunk he was always fighting and angry. But when he was sober he was the best daddy anyone could want.

My mom had a hard life with my dad and all that she went through. He was arguing all the time with her about different things and very demeaning to her. My aunt had told my sister and I we were the blame for my dads drinking and their fighting all the time. That has stayed with me all of my life. Nobody really believes that it happened but it did and I will never forget it! I am not mad at them at all. Maybe that is what they thought in their minds at that time, but it doesn't go away. We should always be careful what we say because we can't take it back. Think about it yourself. Have you ever said something that you wished that you did not say? It always comes back to haunt you in one way or another.

When I was younger I was not very tactful. With God's grace and love through the years, "God" has helped me with this. At times I still have problems but I just try not to do it anymore. The Bible says " Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." (II Cor. 5:17) We really should watch what we say to others or it could hurt them the same as it hurt and stayed with me. I did not understand what I was doing or saying to others until I started back in church.

A change in my life began when my neighbors invited me to go to church (Flint Baptist Temple) with them and ride the bus. I can remember to this day how fun the bus ride was (with all of the games and singing going on, and my Sunday School classes, where I learned the books of the Bible and Bible stories.) I had been learning a lot but never really understood how much Jesus really loved me. It was on Easter Sunday after the night service, that I accepted Christ as my Savior: After the service and invitation, I was really touched by the message and my heart was yearning for more. I did not know what it meant to be under conviction, but that is what was happening to me. My friend Debbie was sitting near me and she burst out crying and stepped out to go forward. I thought that I would go forward and help her and pray with her, not realizing that I was really burdened myself .

Bea, my neighbor, came up to pray with me and took me in the back room. She told me and showed me that I was a sinner and that Jesus loved me soooooo much that He died on the cross for me. She could see the sadness in my eyes and knew exactly what I needed. I said, "he died for me?!" She said, "yes." It was at that time that I realized that Jesus truly loved me and was not mad at me because of the way my life was. I had believed that Jesus could not love me or my dad would not be a drunk. I think that I could have at some time blamed God for the way that my dad behaved. I was my daddy's little girl and loved him so much. I was so relieved that the burden was lifted from my shoulders (HALLELUJAH!) and that Jesus loved me!

I went home and told my mom and dad that I wanted them to come and watch me get baptized. They told me "NO." I was shocked and hurt. I began thinking to myself-- if it doesn't mean anything to them, it must not be important. From that time, I slowly dwindled from church. Boy, big mistake! I did not realize what I was doing with my life, but God had a plan for me that even I did not understand.

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