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Death is such a final thing.  The Bible says in I Corinthians 15:26 that death is the last enemy to be destroyed.  Thus it is an enemy whose goal is to destroy the living.

The death of a dream carries with it the exact same grief experience as the death of a loved one, yet it can go unrecognized.

When you are experiencing the death of a loved one you usually have a physical body over which to mourn.  When you are experiencing the death of a dream you have nothing tangible.  The dream is gone; it has vanished from your sight.

We are all encouraged to have goals.  Goals usually represent our dreams for ourselves or for our loved ones; a much sought-after position, a talent we want to be used for the Lord’s service, seeing our loved ones saved and serving the Lord.  The list is endless, but whatever our goal might be, it’s a part of our very being.

As with any goal, our dreams are well planned.  Hopefully, we have been praying and seeking God’s will for our dreams to come true.  Much effort is put into making our dreams turn into reality.  Getting a higher education, practicing instead of playing, planning out little details that will further our goals -- we do whatever it takes to bring about the completion of our dreams.  They become a vital part of who we are.

When our dreams have been destroyed, we are in a state of shock.  We cry out, "I can’t believe it!  How could God let this happen?  I’ve worked, prayed, and put my blood, sweat, and tears into this dream, and, poof, it’s GONE!  It just can’t be possible!"

Some of us have had our dreams killed by other individuals.  This may have been purposeful or accidental, but, nonetheless, sometimes others are involved in destroying our dreams.  To those whose cherished dreams have been shattered, their grief is just as real as the grief that other individuals feel when a loved one has been killed.  They go through the same grieving process.  Blame, hurt, and anger, along with many other emotions struggle within.  They ask themselves, "How could others have hurt me so without even seeing what they have done?"  It’s like being hit so hard in the pit of the stomach that it takes the breath away.  When their precious dreams die, they feel as if they too are going to die.  They walk around like zombies, not knowing or feeling much of anything but this internal pain and grief.

What about forgiveness?  The Bible says that we must forgive those who ask.  It does not matter whether individuals have planned to destroy our dreams or not, if they ask our forgiveness we must forgive.  We do this just as much for our own sakes as for theirs.  An unforgiving spirit brings bitterness into our hearts that can cause spiritual, as well as physical, illness.  The problem is that forgiving others does not stop the grieving process.  We must still face life without our dreams just as a person who has lost a loved one must still face life without that loved one even though he/she has truly forgiven, from the heart, the one or ones who have taken that loved one’s life away.

We don’t fully understand the grieving process.  Not everyone has the same reaction or spends the same amount of time recuperating from a great loss.  Nevertheless, the steps which must be taken through the grieving process are all pretty much the same.  We are more apt, however, to see and recognize some of these steps in the life of a person who has lost a loved one before we would ever see them in the life of someone who has lost a dream.

In my life, Satan hit me with a double whammy.  Not only did I have to watch my mother slowly die, but I had to sit back and watch as a cherished dream died, too.  My problem was that I needed to put one grieving process on the back burner while I went through the other.  I had to keep my main focus upon my parents who needed me and leave my shattering dream on hold.

My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer in the same week that I saw my dream come tumbling down.  Instead of being met with compassion, however, I was met with accusations, and my character was put into question as angry words were being hurled at me.  I felt betrayed by those I respected most, and my mind and body rebelled against me.  As I struggled to pull my dream back together, Satan attacked me physically and spiritually.  I cried out to the Lord for help but He seemed to be just beyond my grasp.  How I just wanted to give up and fly away even as David wanted to do as he wrote Psalms 55:6.  "And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! For then would I fly away, and be at rest."

As my mother’s condition got worse, my full attention was drawn to her needs.  I had tried to cope with the loss of my dream and go on with my life.  It wasn’t until after we buried my mom that Satan threw my lost dream in my face once more.  In my distress, I cried out, "Lord why am I reacting this way?  What is wrong with me?  Didn’t I deal with this already?"  A resounding answer came back, "NO!  You only scratched the surface!"

I continued to look to Him for understanding.  "Lord, I know that I have forgiven those who have asked me, so why am I hurting like this?  I don’t understand what is happening to me, so how can I explain it to those who ask me what is wrong now?"

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