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Christina’s mother let her know that there was going to be a struggle, but that struggle was well worth fighting for. After all you are dealing with two totally different personalities. Men do not think the same way a woman thinks and vice versa. A man feels he is showing his love by being a steady worker bringing home the proverbial bacon, whereas women want affection. Women need held just for the purpose of being held. They need to be told they are loved and cared for. Women are touchy feely, whereas men are more work oriented. Some men aren’t aware anything is wrong at home because they themselves are totally satisfied with how things are going. The woman feels things are falling apart because she doesn’t “feel” things are going according to how she imagined they would. Now we have two different perspectives on the same marriage. The wife may try to change how the husband does things, and when he doesn’t comply she may think he doesn’t care enough for her to realize she needs something more. This is just a small example of how a marriage can get misguided and require struggling to make it work.

We need more open communication in our marriages; not only with each other, but also with others who have been married for several years where you can see their marriages are going strong. What did they do to survive the attack of the devil? It’s our duty to warn and share with each other about what lies ahead. If it starts with us parents just think how much happier our children can be. Forewarned is to be forearmed.

In order to live happily ever after we need to ascertain what happiness is. The dictionary describes happiness as good fortune, prosperity, a state of well being and contentment, joy and a pleasurable satisfaction. Unfortunately we all too often mistake true happiness for the more worldly descriptions. We think of the pleasurable satisfaction and joy as the pounding of our hearts whenever we see our loved one. The desires that flare up at their touch bring on momentary satisfaction. The problem is whenever you are together all the time these physical emotions calm down. That certainly does not mean the love is gone. We tend to mistake love for lust.

Think of marriage a little like seeing a new car for instance. We fall in “love” with that car. If we only had that car we would never ask for another car till this one died. We swear no one will eat or drink it this new vehicle. What happens after the “new” wears off? There are pop cans, junk mail and food wrappers everywhere. What happened? Do we not care for this car now? Not at all, we just got comfortable with our car and realized it wasn’t going to fall apart with everyday use. The same is true with our marriage. We get comfortable with each other in every day life.

True happiness is in the definition of a state of well being and contentment. Hebrews 13:5 “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have;...”

We will never be happy if we are always looking for contentment outside of our own marriages. Don’t covet someone else’s marriage; instead make the most of the marriage you have. Think of all your mates good qualities and not on their faults. Realizing we are not little miss perfect ourselves. Can we live happily ever after? Yes, if we put our Lord first and be content with such things as we have.

Thanks Christina for sharing with me the insight your mom gave you, and prayerfully someone who is reading this article will be helped also.

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