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Have you ever felt like you have been deserted? At some point in time, we have all probably felt like we were alone in our struggle.

I read a missionary book once called "Are You There God?" It dealt with a young Christian woman who was so depressed she was contemplating suicide. As she reached the peak of depression she cried out, asking God if He was there. In other words, she asked God whether or not He cared.

Out of all the books that I’ve read, that little book has stuck with me all these years. When I read about Elijah, I remembered that book. Elijah, the prophet of God, felt so lonesome he did cry. Elijah not only cried once but twice.

I Kings 19:10 & 14 say, "And he said, I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts: because the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away."

Elijah had just defeated the prophets of Baal. God had not only proven to Elijah that He was with him, but He had also proven to the false prophets that He was the one and only God. Elijah had a very personal relationship with God, his Father, yet he was drawn away with self-pity. For some reason, when Jezebel threatened him, Elijah felt alone and deserted. For some reason, Elijah must have felt like a failure even though he had just taken part in a miracle of God.

Satan really knows how to hit us where it will do the most damage. There is no doubt that Elijah loved God, but somehow, after countless victories, Elijah had become discouraged. Elijah became so depressed he even requested that he might be allowed to die.

I Kings 19:4 says, "But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and he said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers."

Talk about depression! It reminds me of the lines of an old song, "Gloom, despair and agony on me; deep dark depression, excessive misery." Elijah must have felt like that, and he must have had a very deep feeling of loneliness, which caused him to make the request to die.

In I Kings 19:3, we see that Elijah even left his servant and went out alone. Sometimes we have friends who say that they will be with us through thick or thin, and then they get so thin that they literally disappear. This was not true in Elijah’s case. Elijah chose to leave his servant behind. Perhaps Elijah didn’t want his servant to see how discouraged he had become, thereby weakening the servant’s trust in God. It could be that Elijah just wanted to be alone with God. Whatever his reasoning was, Elijah didn’t leave God. Instead, he cried out his loneliness to God.

Did the Lord know how Elijah felt? Of course He did! Did God get upset and reprove Elijah? No, He did not. What the Lord did do was to send an angel to take care of Elijah’s physical needs. God even gave Elijah some time to rethink his request. As Elijah went into a cave at Mt. Horeb God met him there and said, "What doest thou here, Elijah?" The Lord asked this of Elijah in order to make him understand that he had an unfinished task somewhere else. Instead of making excuses for why he had fled form Jezebel, Elijah complained about God’s people, Israel, and their lack of love for the Lord. Elijah went so far as to say that he was the only one left who was faithful and that the people of Israel were seeking to kill him.

Elijah had become so worn out trying to serve God the he became overwhelmed. God had never left Elijah. Miracles were still happening, so what had happened to Elijah? For some reason unknown to us, Elijah took his eyes off the Lord and put them on Jezebel and her threat against his life. By doing this, he became so discouraged that he felt all alone even though God was right there all the time.

Loneliness can be a state of mind. It can take place in one’s life even in a crowded room. When my mother passed away in April of 2000, before my sister came from Indiana, I felt so lonesome I easily cried. I had other family members here, but they were struggling with their own problems as they were dealing with everything. I had friends who understood what I was going through because they personally had gone through it themselves. I had my Lord, who never forsook me, but just like Elijah, I felt very alone.

In the beginning, immediately following Creation, the Lord had a personal, face to face, relationship with Adam, yet He recognized Adam’s need for another human being to share his feelings and emotions. Elijah had his servant, but evidently his servant couldn’t relieve Elijah’s feeling of loneliness. I have learned that, in the dying process, the person who is dying goes through certain things. One of these things is separating themselves from their loved ones as they prepare for leaving the earth. I have also learned, first hand, that those going through this process with a loved one do the same thing. We have little desire to be around others. Sometimes we feel so disconnected from others that we unconsciously pull away from those who could be helpful. We can feel a numbness that makes us reject help. We can also feel so distressed and hassled by everything that is going on in our own lives that we don’t recognize what we are doing. After a time of being alone, we can start to feel discouraged, then worthless, and before you know it, we are wallowing in self-pity. We wonder why everybody we care about has continued on without us, again not recognizing the fact that we, ourselves, have done the separating. If this process goes on too long, depression can set in.

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