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Unlike other people's stories where God was nearest in the midst of a crisis, a message from God was clear to me that first day. "I'll see you on the other side." God seemed to be telling me that I had His Word, His truth, and that would be enough.

For the next 4 years, I grieved. I grieved for the child I thought I had, for the dreams I had for her. I grieved for what I thought my life was supposed to look like. I grieved for what I thought my family was supposed to look like. I grieved for what I thought my child was missing and would miss in life.

Thankfully, a friend had given me a book on grief several years earlier and I recognized the process: the anger, the loneliness, the need to fix everything, the guilt, the sadness. And I knew if there was to be healing some day, I could not take any shortcuts.

Now 5 years later as we come up on Kate's 14th birthday, I look back and see a series of miracles, in Kate's life and in mine. I asked her if I could write about this journey. She said that I could on the condition that she read it first-something she was never supposed to be able to do. She's the person I want to write it for, so that she can never question the hand of God in her life, the God Who made her who she is, the God Who is working His plan for His glory in her life.

As a child, I accepted God's promises by faith. In the past five years, that faith has taken on a life, a color, a purpose of its own. It has changed and grown, and in the process, changed me. Since creation, one all-encompassing purpose of God has been to reveal Himself. God has invited me on a journey of discovery-about my child, about myself, mostly about this God in Whom I have placed my trust-a God of wisdom, a God of love, a God of hope.

Today, the sunshine is driving away my shadows. I am living by a new verse. "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven...a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance..."

I hear the strains of music faintly in the distance. My feet begin to move. Lord, I want to dance. Teach me to match my steps to Yours. Show me how to follow Your lead. Please, Jesus, teach me to dance.

Kathy Kidd-with eternal gratitude to God and my wonderful husband, Jim, for making it possible for me to fulfill my dream of being a stay-at-home mom.

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