Titus 2 Men And Women

Coping
Renee Parris

My heart is heavy as I write this article thinking of people who face problems and situations in life that are bigger than we are. Sometimes life can get pretty overwhelming and situations arise that are totally out of our control. How we respond to those problems can affect us physically, emotionally and spiritually. I do not profess to handle every situation properly but I have learned a few things (not always the easy way) that have helped me cope with life's disappointments.

1. If the problem is bigger than you are and you don't think you can handle it, then don't. I learned a long time ago to give my problems to the Lord. Often I will verbally say, "Lord, this is your problem. You have to take care of this because I don't have the time or energy to deal with it right now." That sounds so easy doesn't it? The trouble is many times we wait until we are totally exasperated before we finally give it to the Lord. God really can handle it. Why should we trouble ourselves with things we can't fix?
   "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. . (Prov. 3:5-6)
2. When your heart is broken, seek God out. Sometimes when we hurt, we pray and feel that God isn't hearing us. We wonder if He is really there. He's there but when our heart hurts and emotions are in the way, many times it takes some searching to find Him. It isn't that He is lost or gone, it's that we must first get our eyes off of ourselves before we can see Him clearly. I remember times when I was so heartbroken that I picked up my Bible and opened it but couldn't even read what was before me. I would just stare at the page and cry. I would touch the words on the page and say, "God, I know You are here but I need you closer to me. I don't need to just touch you, I need to snuggle up next to You." And, after the tears had subsided, I would begin reading. Soon I would realize that I was feeling the presence of the Lord. "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." (I Peter 5:7)
3. Don't share your problems with too many people. Mrs. Marlene Evans once said to me, "Pour your heart out to the Lord, He can take it, people can't." Many times people want to help but don't have the resources to do so and so we only frustrate them by putting them in a position in which they feel helpless. Those who know me know that I love to be surrounded by people. I don't like doing anything alone. I really struggle with learning to be alone. However, my time with people is most always spent working on projects for church or for someone who needs help or on business. Very few people are ever aware that my heart is breaking. Why? Because people need me to be who they need. If I burden people down with my problems, then there are two of us feeling pretty depressed. So, what do I do when I feel I need to talk to someone? I listen to music. I know that sounds ridiculous but it gives me human voices when I feel I need someone with skin. I can't count the times that my heart has been eased through the words of a song. God uses people to help us. I know which tapes I need to hear when I am feeling overwhelmed by life. "For every man shall bear his own burden." (Galatians 6:5)
4. We spend far too much time thinking of ourselves and our problems. There is an entire world out there dying and going to hell while we are feeling sorry for ourselves. Many times people suggest that I am too busy. The main reason I busy myself with other people and projects is so that I don't have time to think about myself. I can easily become depressed and melancholy if I am alone for any length of time. I find people who need me and I go to them. Sometimes through a phone call, sometimes through a card or letter, sometimes through a meal or gesture in deed, sometimes through taking care of something that frees them up to do something else. I spend much of my life on other people. While some would say, "that's unselfish of you," it really is my way of survival. "Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God;" (II Cor. 3:5)
5. The greatest lesson I think I've ever learned on coping was taught to me by Mrs. JoJo Moffitt. After experiencing our first miscarriage, Mrs. Moffitt made a statement to me that literally changed my life. It's amazing how God sends someone along with exactly what we need when we need it. Mrs. Moffitt said to me, "Don't go through this miscarriage without learning what God is trying to teach you." I couldn't get away from those words. They haunted me and to this day, I think of that immediately when life surprises me. There will be someone tomorrow who will need what I am learning today. If I blow it, what chance do they have of being helped and comforted? "But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you." (John 14:26)
6. Know that every day the Lord writes a new will for our lives. People talk about finding God's perfect will for their lives, but in reality, we all blow God's perfect will every day. I believe God writes in pencil and when we blow it, he just erases it and starts all over. So every day is God's perfect will. And, every thing that happens is in that will. And, if we believed that what happens to us today is God's perfect will, we wouldn't want to change it even if we had the power to do so. "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24)

So, how do you cope? Cry when your heart is broken; pour your frustration out on the Lord when you don't understand; share your heartaches with very few people; learn what God is trying to teach you so you can teach it to someone else tomorrow; and believe that life is just a carbon copy of God's perfect will for you as it appears in Heaven.

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