Titus 2 Men And Women

The Best Way To Put Your Babies On A Schedule
by Sharon Merhalski

The following statement is going to sound pretty bold but please don’t stop reading...give me a minute or two to qualify it please.  I am 53 years old and the mother of two adult children who never had a rebellious time in their lives. My son and daughter grew up very secure in our family and in who they were before God. Because of that heart-felt security they have been able to reach out to other people.  Not only have I raised my children, I have mentored countless women to help raise theirs.  Having said that I ask you to please at least hear my heart on this matter...for your children’s sake. 

I received a telephone call yesterday from a dear friend with a three month old son.  She has received much "advice" about how to schedule this very small infant.  She had some serious concerns and felt I have (by the grace of God) "the proof of the pudding" and felt I should be able to help her.  She sighed the longest sigh when I finished comforting and advising her.

I asked my sweet friend how God treats her?  The greatest parent-child example that we have to follow is that of our God and His children. She was stunned and I had to ask her twice before she could answer.

When a woman gets married she is to submit to her husband and become the God honored "help meet" to him.  A very honorable position.

When a woman has a baby (stay with me) she is to submit to that child and their every need...as God submits Himself to us when we get saved and become an infant in our walk with the Lord  needing "the milk of the Word of God".

El Shaddai..........

I am not going to quote umpteen verses to prove the truth of my words, rather, I am going to define one of God’s most precious names.   Most Christians know the moving song by the title "El Shaddai" and here is the meaning---the character of our God in His name El Shaddai:  El Shaddai means God Almighty---the all sufficient One.

         ******The root word SHAD is the Hebrew word for the mother’s breast where we are supplied with all nourishment and life.

I cry easily when I think of the needs that I had when I accepted the LORD as my personal Saviour.  When I became His infant He ALWAYS met me and took care or me at any time, in any place, in any circumstance, at the very instant I needed Him to.  And ladies, He as my Abba Father---my El Shaddai---is still doing exactly that...meeting me and caring for my every need at precisely the moment I need it.

I am an observer by nature.  I am one of those people who love to go to the airport two hours early and just watch humanity.  I love to sit in a mall and just watch people---make observations.  I find at my age now I can reiterate my conclusions and people will actually listen...usually out of respect for age. C:  For years I have been observing the outcome of a ‘new wave movement’ for parenting:  "Put an infant on a very rigid schedule and never, never bend to their needs and insecurities."  This wave is sweeping our churches today.

OBSERVATION---I see very insecure children everywhere.

After a book on this ‘new wave’ came out I began closely observing parents and children.  With the size of our church children were not hard to find.

I see a different young child than I saw when my children were young. 

I see mother’s riding this ‘new wave’ of child rearing that gives them license to be self-absorbed and selfish with their time for their child.  I see mother’s not being "El Shaddai" to their infants and young children.

I am not going to labor to make my observations credible to you.  Rather, I am going to leave you right here with some questions and a concluding remark.

1. How was your God -El Shaddai to you when you first accepted Him as Your Saviour?  How did He nurture you at His breast with His pure  Formula of milk for your growth and security in His love?

2. Are you secure in the LORD today because He always met you in your Need right where you were at---at whatever time of day that you needed Him?

3. Oftentimes I wake up in the middle of the night insecure and needing my Abba Father to comfort me and assure me as His child.  Especially when in trials, I need to have Him wrap His Almighty Wings around me and lay my head on His breast...and feed me from His Shad until I am satisfied and secure once more.  Because He has never failed to do so on MY time table I can stand in Him secure---even as we watch our son slip in to the arms of Jesus Heavenbound.  Isn’t this what we want for our children---to be secure in our love, trusting us with their well-being and nourishment for all aspects of their growth?

My friend gave me an illustration that prompted me to write this short essay that I am writing with prayer...prayer that my observations will cause some mothers to un-schedule their small children.  My friend said that a young mom took her 3 week old baby to the nursery and laid it in a crib---and then taped a note to the crib.  The note read, "This is my baby’s rest time and I do not want anyone to change the schedule by picking it up out of this crib," 

That baby cried for two hours because the nursery workers were in to this

‘new wave’ of child rearing.  In a new place (they were visitors), without mom or dad there, that infant cried and was left to be insecure for two hours.

Some may say that I have only raised two children.  Well, my friend in Wisconsin raised a family of TWELVE and they all are secure, productive, Christian adults.  How did she manage it?  She definitely did not raise them in what I have sorrowfully labeled "a baby boot-camp". She was El Shaddai to them all...giving up her time and her desires to obey her God in the greatest of ‘ministry’ work....training up our children in the way they should go....knowing that before she and her husband could train them each of the twelve had to learn to be secure in their parents love and care---they each had to learn to trust their guidance knowing they had always been there to meet their every need without letting them ‘cry in fear of being in strange places.’ 

El Shaddai never leaves us hungry, insecure, fearful, or lacking anything we need at the moment that we need it for our growth and security. 

(Danette Tucker of titus2women addresses this article:
"Your perspective is EXACTLY the problem I have with this teaching about child-rearing. Rigid scheduling of babies is about the parents' desire to control -- which is not true leadership. Christ's leadership model was of being a SERVANT not a taskmaster.   This parenting style has two negative consequences that I can see. It teaches the child that love is distant and intangible -- that God isn't REALLY available to them to meet their needs. But El Shaddai -- the "many breasted" One -- makes abundant, generous, more-than-enough provision for His children! Rigid parenting also demonstrates exactly the same heart attitude of control that manifests itself in legalism in many churches with authoritarian leaders who expect dictatorial rule over their congregations.   When we approach parenting from a servant perspective God uses parenting to teach us some critical lessons. In the hard times of all-nighters and crying babies God teaches us SO much about the selfishness really buried in our hearts.   When we have multiple days like that and are exhausted beyond endurance we learn how to rely on Him for strength. Another benefit is that servant parenting teaches us to go to God for wisdom about our child's needs rather than trusting the "schedule" to be right.  There is a place of balance between rigid parental control and allowing a child to rule the home with his demands. When we are parenting as servants we have to learn to go to God for specific guidance.  Rigid parenting shortcuts God's work in our own lives.  Thanks for another great article!"

P.S.
As a general rule, I'm not a fan of "anti" sites. But in the case of rigidly scheduling babies, the very real danger to children and families makes for a different situation. I think the following web site is tastefully done. It's a collection of materials, not a diatribe. http://www.ezzo.info/ )

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