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I used to ask you lots of questions about raising kids and one comment that has definitely stood the test of time from you is this: "whatever you tolerate in moderation as a parent, your children will do to excess." Now perhaps that was not a "Sharon Merhalski original" but it did exemplify your philosophy of childrearing from my perspective and I saw the fruits of it in your children from a positive point of view. 

 You also told me that teenagers sometimes had to be treated like 2 year olds because sometimes they couldn't be reasoned with and only "no because I said so" would do. You said that kids needed and wanted boundaries. It was a parent's responsibility to set them for the security of the children. Contrary to popular belief at the time, your children did not rebel because they had boundaries. Instead they seemed to thrive within the security of the boundaries.

Your own life was a great example to your children. You were always loyal to the pastor and church to which you belonged, a faithful attender, faithful in personal integrity and devotion to the Lord. Your children saw this and I think it was reflected in the development of their priorities.

I never saw you be harsh with your kids but you were firm in your expectations of them. You also said that their attitudes mattered as well as their obedience. You spent lots of time with your children. I don't remember you and Pete taking off for weekends away leaving the kids home alone. I think you did most things together as a family. Even though your family went through some incredibly tough things, you always stayed faithful to the Lord and sought His help, healing, and guidance in every situation from severe illness and financial difficulties to heartbreaking church problems. That says alot to kids growing up. You were very open with your children and during those hard times, (they seemed to be the norm for you guys) you didn't try to paint some rosy false picture for them.

 You didn't threaten your children with "wait til your father gets home." You handled things as they arose and instead of being mom the "softy," you had children who respected and honored you.

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