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Raising Unselfish Children

I thought of about no less than a dozen titles for this first  "Mom Sense" article.  What became evident in my children’s lives because of this "happening" in our home could by itself title this many different ways.  However, I know that unselfishness is probably the greatest trait I evidence in my children’s lives because of this family tradition.

I cross-stitched a sampler when my children were young that read, "Love wasn’t put in our hearts to stay, Love isn’t love till it’s given away."

That saying meant so much to me-- for many reasons --and coupled with a truth taught to me by my mentor and titus2woman for the last 30 years the two became a standard in our home that our children grew to share.  

The truth:  When we  earnestly pray for others we WILL love them....it is always the by product of sincere prayer.  God sheds abroad His love for others through us...and we should unselfishly add our own love to God’s measure. 

When our children were very young, we started "adopting" other children.  Now, we did not legally adopt them as we did our daughter...rather, we began loving our children’s friends.  That love grew out of much prayer for those children...and then naturally grew out of our hearts as they gathered in our home.

My son and my daughter are 5 ½ years apart in age.   Raising them was almost like raising two only children.  When God brought our daughter to live in our home my son started first grade and was gone all day to school.  For my son’s first five years I borrowed my friend’s little boys to come and play at my house.   I was always a full-time mom and by providing my son a playmate to interact with and share with I also was able to give my friends a gift of free time.  When my daughter was old enough I did likewise for her.  I think this was one of the greatest  things  that God led me to do for my children...open my home to their friends to help teach them to not be selfish...and it also taught them to be tolerant of others.

As my children got older we never changed this tradition in our home.  My husband and I loved their friends with a genuine love birthed and grown in prayer for them.   We bought them birthday presents...and took our children to buy them a present too.  We, with our children, sent these friends cards when they were sick.  We often took those children on outings with our family to the zoo or the park...or had them over to play with our goats, dogs, horses, or turkeys.  We gave our children an ‘extended family’ so to speak to care about and to care for...and to love.

When our children became teen-agers our home was ALWAYS open to their friends...as was our refrigerator. C:  At the Holidays we ALWAYS invited any of their friends who wanted to come...and ALWAYS had many of our adult friends to join us.  So many memories of 25-30 people in our home...and everyone who had one brought their instrument and joined our son around the piano!!!   Our goal was to teach our children that our friends are as important to God as our families...and should be likewise to us.

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