"The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms..." Deuteronomy 33:27.

A small East Texas town was my birthplace and where my roots go deep. I never knew how it felt to move to another place, go to a different school, travel out of town for holidays at my grandparents' homes, or adjust to making all new friends. Best of all I did not live in a single parent family or have "step" relatives. Like all families, there were problem areas and rough waters at times. But, I'm so grateful for the opportunity and privilege to have seen my parents celebrate their 65th wedding anniversary. What a milestone! And I am truly blessed to have a wonderful sister, four years my junior, who is a joy and delight.

Since I did not become a Christian until the age of 20, it was foreign to me when I learned that God created each person for a purpose. No one is an accident or an after-thought or worthless. No one can attain the level of perfection and no one is better than another. Race, creed, color, ethnicity, or prosperity fails to elevate one person above someone else. Almighty God, the Creator of all things, loves us with an everlasting love. He loves us so much that He gave...He gave His only Son, Jesus Christ to take our sins upon Himself, die in our stead to provide salvation for all who will freely receive it. The Bible tells us that if we repent of our sins, believe that He died in our place, accept Jesus as our Saviour, we will be eternally saved from a literal Hell and take up residence in Heaven one day.

God's plan for our lives is always the right plan even when we don't understand how that could be--especially when our world comes crashing down and nothing makes sense. To keep our spiritual and emotional equilibrium it is imperative that we focus solely on the Burden-Bearer and not the burden. In an hour of sorrow or conflict, we must look to Him who is Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. How blessed we are that God allows us to live one day at a time, unaware of what each day may bring. If we knew the heartaches coming our way tomorrow, functioning today would be impossible. And they do invade our lives--unwelcomed and unwanted, but necessary none the less. God's plan, remember. Not ours. Adversity produces growth and strength when accepted as allowed by our Father or sent from Him. This can be a time of drawing so close to our Lord and yielding ourselves to His perfect will as we glean invaluable wisdom and knowlege while going through the dark valleys.

Compared to many, my tumultous times have been minimal. Some short term. Others spanning longer periods. In 1995, one such event occurred when my mother suffered her third stroke over a period of about 12 years. The first two were severe and required time and therapy to regain most of her limitations. She was never fully recovered, but maintained a normal, but somewhat resticted lifestyle. Inability to drive her car was the biggest adjustment for her. However, the last stroke was massive and devastating.

As I recount the 7 years and 5 months of my sweet mama's journey, my desire is to encourage someone else who currently is dealing with a similar scenario or may walk this rocky path tomorrow as a caregiver for a loved one. Regretfully, I failed to keep a journal because the physician and even my family and I expected non-recovery and a soon-coming death. But as the days turned into weeks, the weeks faded into months, and the months evolved into years, her slow deterioration demanded more time for a wide range of nursing skills. Because we chose to take her back to the house where she and my dad had lived for 40 years as opposed to the doctor's stern request to admit her immediately in a long-term nursing facility, an uncharted course began for our family. With no prior experience, my sister, my dad, and I had no conception of where or how to start. The social worker at the rehab where Mother had been for 3 months offered little direction. Therefore, our new venture commenced with fear and trepidation. I knew from whence my help would come. My only sibling resided and still does in Houston, so she would not be available on a regular schedule. My dad was battling health problems himself, plus at age 77 and still working a part-time job, his responsiblity would be slight. I opted for this method of caring for my mom, knowing that unless impossible barricades prevented this arrangement, the ball was in my court. Adamantly, I determined to make this work. And I knew that this was God's will for me. I never once doubted my decision. Overwhelming fatigue and stress created apprehension about my ability to accomplish this feat. As time passed and physical difficulties surfaced for myself, I earnestly pleaded with the Lord to enable me to reach my goal in honoring my parents and tenderly caring for them in their last days just as they tended me in my first years.

After my mom went to Heaven on June 22, 2002, all desire to live on this earth without his beloved wife, evaporated from my dad. This came as no surprise to my sister nor me. As he so aptly put it day after day, "I just have to go and be with your mother." And he did...on May 8, 2003, less than a year after her Heavenly flight.

Certainly, I don't have all the answers and I lay no claim to perfection. If the lessons I've learned can aid in someone else's undertaking of this most important labor of love and smooth their trail a little, my heart will rejoice. Hopefully, insight will be gained for some who like us had no inkling of direction. The greatest benefit to be reaped is the nearness of God. "The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms..." Deuteronomy 33:27. With His help you, too, can finish the course and look into the precious face of your loved one, stilled by death, and say, "I did everything I possibly could to make their last days comfortable and peaceful. I have no regrets."

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