Sexually Molested .... Should I Report It?

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Commentary by Danette Tucker:

I have to add my voice to Sharon’s in concern because this has become a common problem in the church, not merely an occasional occurrence.  The problem of sexual abuse and molestation is systemic throughout our culture and, unfortunately, the church is not exempt.  But, while our society is finally facing the reality of this problem, the church is persisting in wearing blinders and pretending it doesn’t exist or that it is rare and "couldn’t possibly happen here."  In the church victims are being told to forgive and forget. 

There are a couple reasons for this head-in-the-sand mentality in the church.  First is the mistaken belief that it is more spiritual to "forgive."  In the case of molestation by leadership within the church there is also a mistaken belief that the "ministry" must be protected at all costs.  There is also a fear that if we openly acknowledge and address this issue we will cause an outbreak of unfounded allegations that could destroy the lives of many innocent people.

Unfortunately, each of these beliefs is either mistaken or is not a valid reason.  First, while victims do need to forgive, forgiveness is not synonymous with forgetting.  The Word never says to reconcile with an unrepentant offender (and in the case of a violation of the law, true repentance will accept the consequences of illegal acts).  The abuser is still responsible before God and the law to pay the penalty for his/her actions.  To not require this is to invalidate God’s justice, violate His Word, and enable the abuser to continue in his abuse WITH the tacit blessing of the church.  When this occurs, Satan is given a stronghold in the church and this sin will proliferate.  A church which shelters one abuser by not abiding by the laws of God and man will become a haven for other abusers.

Also, in the case of abuse by church leaders God does not hold church leaders above the laws of the land.  In fact, the requirements for church leadership include the requirement that leaders be without reproach.  Any church leader who is guilty of sexual abuse (actually, abuse of any kind) is automatically disqualified for leadership according to the Word.  They are not to be protected but are to be immediately removed from leadership.  Yes, they can still be loved, like anyone else.  But they must also submit to the laws of God and government, and to the consequences for violation of these laws.

As to the concern that exposing abuse in the church will lead to unfounded allegations, this is precisely why God established a specific method for dealing with accusations.  There is a system of accountability laid out in Matt. 18:15-17.  The Word also says that an allegation against a leader needs at least three witnesses. (I Tim. 5:19)  Any allegation should be seriously investigated but no action should be taken against a leader in the church without at least three corroborating witnesses.  This could be three different victims coming forward or could be multiple witnesses of one victim’s evidence of abuse --- such as caregivers, medical personnel, etc.  This is to protect the church against just such problems as could occur due to unfounded accusations.

The Word says that we are to love each other as Christ loves us.  True love does not enable another person to continue in unrepentant sin.  This is not the meaning of "covering a multitude of sins."  James 5 says that we cover a multitude of sins when we address a brother’s sin and turn him from it, not when we overlook it and enable him to continue in it. 

Look also at Paul’s response to the church in Corinth (I Cor. 5) regarding a church member who was living in sexual sin.  He did not say to ignore it.  Paul indicated he was upset about it and that it was not to be tolerated within the church.  He uses strong language indeed when he says he prayed to deliver that person over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh.  Paul very specifically tells the church to have no fellowship with this person.  This same passage applies equally to any situation where there has been sexual abuse in the church.  Sexual abuse is fornication, too.  It is involuntary on the part of the victim making it even more evil and less tolerable.

Paul’s very specific admonition to the church in the case of sexual misconduct in the church was that the person committing the sin was to be excommunicated.  Where laws of the land have been broken we must also uphold them, as Sharon demonstrated.  We are to be subject to human governmental authority.  This means that if we know of abuse in the church we are responsible to report it and to cooperate with the law in all ways regarding it, including testifying in court if necessary.  This situation does not fall within the category of things that we are to judge "within the church" because it is an issue where there has been a violation of the laws of our government.  It is not enough for someone in the church to "confront and then counsel" the abuser.  The abuser has violated the law and must experience the consequences of the legal system.  This is what the Word means when it says in I Peter 2:14 that we are to submit "...unto governors, as unto them that are sent by Him for the punishment of evildoers..."

So, what do you do if your church leadership refuses to confront or address sexual abuse by another church member?

First, you are still responsible to do what is right, regardless of the feelings or advice of others.  You are responsible to submit to governing authorities so you must report it.  If your church authorities or parents advise otherwise they are in violation of the Word and you must obey the Word before man --- any "man." 

Second, you may need to reconsider your church home.  This is a hard thing.  But, can you submit to spiritual leadership that would counsel you in direction violation of the Word?  Are you, by staying in such a church, lending tacit agreement to its ungodly practices and leadership?  By staying, are you remaining under spiritual leadership that God cannot bless but will instead be required to discipline?  Can you be sure of the validity of your spiritual leadership when they would advise you to violate the Word in this matter?

This is a difficult issue, but not one without specific and clear direction from God.  Please be assured that God does have answers and He does not leave any of His children in abusive situations without redress.

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