Titus 2 Men And Women

Why Children Don't Tell

Many children are far too young to understand what has happened to him/her. Unable to communicate verbally what has happened. Remember (word omitted) abuse knows no age limits. Unfortunately, it can and does happen to even the smallest of children whom are only weeks old.

Children are often threatened and or bribed by the abuser to keep the abuse a secret just between the two of them. It is a scarey thing for a child to have their life or the lives of family members threatened if the tell the secret. Often they are afraid that even if they do tell no one will believe them. We must prove them wrong. It is very rare that young children lie about (word omitted) abuse. You must let them know you believe them. Assure them it is not their fault, they did nothing wrong and they are not being punished. This kind of attention can be confusing, causing them to feel ashamed and embarrassed and stirring up mixed emotions especially if it is someone they know, love and trust. They then worry about getting into trouble themselves or getting a loved one into trouble
---Children Are Worth saving…. C.A.W.S. ---caws.com

Matthew 19:14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

Lack Of Family Support/Denial

Quoted from Broken Spirits Network

"Accepting the fact that you or someone you love is in an abusive relationship is very difficult, and often times we do anything we can to push that possibility away. We would all like to believe that it "can't happen to us/those around us" but unfortunately, it can and it does. A common defense mechanism for friends and family of abuse victims is pretending that the abuse is not taking place. Friends and family attempt to change the subject, become upset once the topic is unavoidable, and even accuse the victim of lying. Although I know this is not the case in every situation, I also know that it happens more often than not. Through this system of lack of support or denial the victim becomes more isolated, and eventually more connected to their abuser. Once this feeling of isolation has thoroughly sunk in the mind of an abuse vicitm, it becomes even more difficult to leave. An abuser has a powerful hold on their victim, and without assistance from family or friends, that hold can become almost unbreakable.

Children often do not tell us with words that they have been (word omitted) abused or that they have successfully resisted an assault and don't know quite what to do next. There are many reasons children might hesitate or be afraid to tell us about what has happened, including their relationship to the offender, fear of the consequences, retaliation or uncertainty about whether or not they will be believed.

Generational Sin

By Teddi Neevel

To break the bondage of sin, to prevent this generation from believing that abuse is acceptible, we must listen when a child talks. We must believe what they say. We must stand up and protect their innocence.

What one generation silently tolerates, the next generation condones and by the third generation the sin has become openly acceptable behavior. This is generational sin. It is based in the principle of sowing and reaping. If you only plant beans you will reap beans and not corn. If you allow the crop you have planted to go to seed, next year (generation) you will have a bigger crop.

Exodus 20:5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

"Perpetrators go to great lengths to conceal (word omitted) abuse. Children who have been (word omited) abused may not report the behavior due to threats or to a lack of understanding of what has happened. In addition, they may be confused by the simultaneous physical arousal they may feel and the clearly covert, possibly threatening nature of the event." ---Author/s: Doreen Arcus, Ph.D. University of Massachusetts Lowell

Information given me by my daughter and others I have counseled has allowed me to see that there are many reasons that children don't tell their parents that they are being violated. The most repeated reason that I have heard? The horrific nature of the threats made by the predator to the child. These perverted sin infested adults go to any length to guarantee silence.

Another less thought about reason is that adults aren't listening when children attempt to tell. This, I believe is because of apathy…adults just not thinking that it can and does happen to their children, and to children that they know who may be trying to tell them they are being violated…or are uneasy around someone they sense has those intentions. My daughter became hesitant about going to our pastor's house to be with his wife and ride the ponies…. Something she loved to do. I never 'heard' her heart or questioned why.

One other thought about why children don't tell…and about their feelings after they do tell is found in the following from my daughter's testimony:

"First of all, I was upset at myself for telling my parents. Pastor was taken from me and I did not understand. All I knew was that as soon as I said something I did not see him again. Sometimes in life things are done to us that we do not understand. . I rebelled in my heart at that, because he was my preacher. I understand now though the terrible pain and anguish my parents were going through. Something had been done to their little girl and they were not there to stop it. I am very thankful that the lines of communication were open in our home and that I felt comfortable going to my parents. If my parents never believed me or never let me share what was in my heart, only the Lord knows where I would be today."

Please keep the lines of communication open with your children…. And listen to their every word and notice their every action…and believe them! ---Sharon Merhalski

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