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- Having a supportive spouse is a huge help! It makes a big difference when
your spouse is aware of what is happening to you and is not pointing condemning
or impatient fingers! If your husband can walk through your emotional mine-field
with grace you are a blessed woman indeed! It helped for me to remind my
husband when I knew my hormones were talking so he knew that I knew that he
didn’t need to "fix" it.
- Plan a window of 6-8 weeks (longer if you had a c-section or complications)
for recovery. You probably won’t feel like you need that long but you do!
Your body will heal faster than that but there’s more going on than what you
can see. It’s not uncommon to feel like a million bucks a couple days after
birth but your body really isn’t ready for grocery shopping trips, laundry
and house cleaning yet. Resist the urge! Limit yourself to the absolute
minimum. If you do too much too soon you can make yourself very sick and
make post-partum depression even worse. During those first several days you
are still running on the emotional high of giving birth and it’s not "real"
energy.
- Take a nap whenever baby does, as often as you can. You need as much sleep
as you can get until baby starts sleeping through the night.
- Plan ahead of time not to take your emotions seriously. Your emotions
are going to be over-reacting! Don’t feel ridiculous if you just need to
have a good cry now and then. You’ll feel better for it!
- Keep your mind focused on the truth. In those wee hours of the night when
you’re exhausted from lack of sleep it’s easy to feel like God has forgotten
you. But you know this isn’t true. CHOOSE to rejoice in what you know is
true in spite of your feelings.
- Reach out for support whenever you need it. Other moms have walked in
the same shoes. If you have specific challenges, such as with breast feeding,
don’t hesitate to contact "experts" for help with that. Trying to endure
some of these frustrations by yourself can contribute to making your post-partum
depression harder.
- Accept offers of help. This is no time to stand on pride. Remember that
if you refuse help, you are depriving others of a blessing. Also, it may
be that God will have you to help or encourage one of these people even while
they are there to help you.
- If you have a baby who has a lot of awake time during the night, consider
listening to the Bible or worship music on cassette/CD during that time.
One of the most significant things to watch out for is the seductiveness of
post-partum depression. Just like any other depression it has an allure that
appeals to your flesh to draw you into a downward spiral and away from the truth.
In my recent experience I went along for several weeks doing very well handling
in correctly. When our baby was three weeks old I had a serious injury that
made everything much more difficult and turned my recovery into a 3-month process
rather than 6-8 weeks. Still I tried to remain focused on the truth and follow
all those steps above. But there came a day when I realized I had allowed myself
to slip into that depression hole and I was wallowing in it, almost relishing
it and not wanting to get out. I was embracing my misery and the seduction
of depression.
At that point I made the choice to turn to God and ask Him to show me the way
out. What He taught me in that place was that I had to make a choice to let
go of the depression before He could show me the encouragement of His
truth. While you’re in it, it’s easy to think that you need God’s encouragement
in order to get out of the depression. But I had to repent of my sin of holding
onto that depression and choose to turn from it to the truth. Then I
experienced God’s comfort that lifted my spirits immediately. This encouragement
was the turning point for me.
Above all, just remember that the Word says Jesus understands all these
things, even though He never gave birth, and He has grace for us in our times
of need. (Heb. 4:15,16)
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