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The Counselor's Corner
Here are some tips for coping with problems in your Christian life. See if these simple Scriptural suggestions can benefit you as they have others.

Coping with Others

Are you having difficulty with someone in your life? Do you seem to keep having one argument after another? Do you find yourself having too many disagreements lately? This article just might help. The principles prescribed in the DACA Method have proven effective time after time. Check it out. It may make a difference in the rest of your life.

Not Just Another Formula
Formulas in dealing with people seldom work. We are all individuals. We have good days and bad days. People in our family or office have good days and bad days. You have opinions and others have different opinions. There are so many variables in circumstances and personalities that no formula will be applicable to every situation and relationship.

However; since application of the DACA Method has proven extremely helpful for so many of our clients over the years, we are eager to share it with you. Try it with your spouse, your children, your boss, your friends, and even your enemies. You will be amazed. It is the nearest thing to a "formula" we have ever endorsed. This method is based on the teaching of Jesus Christ.

When you are "under attack"
When you are attacked, what is your response? Are you defensive? Of course! That is our natural reaction. We instinctively defend ourselves when someone attacks us, but what did Jesus say we were to do? "Turn the other cheek." OK, but what does that mean? How can we turn the other cheek and not become a floor mat for people to wipe their feet on?

When you "attack"
You "lose it" when things don't go as you think they should. You "fly off the handle" and say whatever is on your mind. Perhaps later you reconsider and regret what you've said. How do you recover from exploding? The next day or the next encounter, do you just act as if nothing happened? Do you just push it "under the rug" and go on with out making a "big deal" of it? "Sweeping things under the rug" makes a large bump that will eventually "trip you up" in that relationship.

DACA is the answer
Learning the DACA Method of dealing with people is a key to responding to them when you feel they are attacking you. Whether they are correct in their assessment, but vicious in their presentation; or whether they are absolutely wrong in both their conclusions and their presentation; either way, having DACA in your mind will make a profound difference.

D = DON’T DEFEND

What ever you do, don’t defend yourself. If there ever was a person on earth that had the right to defend Himself, it was Jesus Christ, and He didn’t. He was attacked over and over as He did many miracles, when He stood trial, and even while He was on the cross. He never defended Himself even though the attacks against Him were vicious and undeserved.

One of our clients was under attack by the media, accusing him falsely. They made him the lead story of the 6:00 news for several weeks. Their coverage was threatening his reputation and his practice in his city. He prepared to go to the television station and submit to an interview with the reporter doing the expose’.

His attorney advised him to call the station before going and ask for an unedited copy of the interview. His attorney told him that the media could edit the interview in such a way as to make it very incriminating no matter what he said. So he asked the station if they would promise him an unedited copy if he granted them the interview. They refused. His attorney advised him not to go. He heeded the advice.

Later he spoke of how draining the attack on him was and how angry it made him. He said when he spent time in prayer; it seemed Father was impressing on his mind a comparison to what Jesus endured. "Hadn't Jesus been attacked falsely?" "Didn't Jesus have a right to defend Himself?" "So, did He?"

Isaiah 50:6 ["I gave my back to the smiters, and my cheeks to them that plucked off the hair: I hid not my face from shame and spitting." K.J.V.]

Our client, who had been badly shaken, found new resolve to leave the matter to Father and follow Jesus’ example. He thought, "If Jesus didn’t defend Himself and He was sinless, who do I think I am?"

Scriptural Admonitions
The Scriptures tell us plainly what our attitude should be.

Proverbs 20:22, ["Say not thou, I will recompense evil; but wait on the Lord, and he shall save thee."  K.J.V.]

Proverbs 24:29 ["Say not, I will do so to him as he hath done to me: I will render to the man according to his work"  K.J.V.]"

Romans 12:17, ["Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men." K.J.V.]

Matthew 5:39 ["But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." K.J.V.]

1Thessalonians 5:15 ["See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men." K.J.V.]

1Peter 3:8-9 ["Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing." K.J.V.]

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