Do you remember the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?" Is that saying true? To those of us who have been under the deluge of cruel words, we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it is not true. Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue..." Our words can do great damage to one another, even killing us emotionally.

This verse in Proverbs says the tongue has power. That power can be used as a force for good or evil. That power can destroy another person’s self image or it can build up another person’s self worth. What is it our Lord would have us use our tongues for? It may seem pretty self-explanatory, but there are those of us who do not use our tongues for the right purpose.

Adults, as well as children, are using their tongues as a tool for the destruction of other human beings. Can a child really do damage to another child? Unfortunately, they are doing more damage than we realize. Many adults pass off name calling between children as harmless prattle, and granted, some of it is just that, but not all of the words between children are harmless. Some of these words are causing real damage to the emotional growth of other children.

How can we, as adults, tell when our children are being psychologically damaged or if they are just being aggravated? When a child comes to you sobbing because they are being verbally abused by other children or adults, I believe that is the time to stop and evaluate whether or not this crying shows real pain, especially when it is continually being repeated. If our children can’t come to us when they feel overcome with verbal abuse, how can we expect them to come to us when they are being physically abused? After all, to their minds we really do not care if they are being hurt. This "I don’t care attitude" is just the tactic abusers' use on children. If children have already experienced our unconcern over verbal abuse by others, why would they believe we would really care when they are physically mistreated. Proverbs 20:11 "Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right."

Have you ever notice a group of children gathered together picking on one child? Verbal abuse, as well as physical abuse, is contagious. It spreads even faster when the abused child reacts in some way. A negative reaction is like fanning the flames of a fire or waving a red flag at a bull. Sometimes children need someone else to stand up for them.

How much verbal abuse are we going to allow one person to inflict upon another? When do we stop the abusive behavior? Are we to wait until abused children break down under pressure and refuse to associate with others because they feel so awful about themselves form this constant attack on their character?

Listen to your children in their talk about themselves. Are they saying negative things all the time? If so, where did they get that idea? Not all of our children get their negative thoughts about themselves from other children. Sometimes we, as adults, say hurtful things to our children without giving it a second thought. Have you ever said or heard another adult say to a child, "Don’t be so stupid!" or some other such harmful expression? Our children are a heritage form the Lord and we are to protect them while they are under our care. Psalms 127:3

Our children, as well as we adults, can be very cruel to one another, can’t we? We cannot be there to stop harmful abuse all the time, but the next time a little child approaches you sobbing their heart out because of verbal abuse, please take time out to listen to the hurt they are feeling. We only add to the hurt of our children when we brush them and their pain off as not being worthy of our time. Sticks and stones may break my bones, and words can really hurt me.

Psalms 141:3 "Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips."

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