Today I want to look at some family problems in the Old Testament. Let’s do a little bit of digging and see if we can get a clear picture.

For those of you who are un-familiar with the concept of generational sin I would suggest a study on that subject alone. I’m sure you all remember that God promised Abraham and Sarah a son. Even though Abraham and Sarah had lied about being husband and wife. Even though they had tried to help God out by Abraham fathering a child by Hagar. God still kept his promise. Sarah and Abraham had Isaac when Abraham was 100 years old. When Sarah saw Ishmael mocking or teasing Isaac she told Abraham to send Ishmael away. Genesis 21:10-11 "Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac. And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his son." 

Abraham loved Ishmael and up until he was 14 years old Sarah didn’t mind having him around either. Sarah died when she was 127 years old, and Isaac was 40 years old and still content to live at home.  Did someone forget to cut the umbilical cord? After Sarah died, Abraham sent his servant to get a wife for Isaac from the home of is brother Laban.

We all remember how Rebekah met the servant at the well and drew water for the camels. Then she and her servants left her home and went to Isaac. What do you suppose motivated Rebekah? Certainly she was the wife God intended for Isaac. She was a caring person. She might just have been a wee bit mercenary. Genesis 30:30 "For it was little which thou hadst before I came, and it is now increased unto a multitude; and the LORD hath blessed thee since my coming: and now when shall I provide for mine own house also?"

Isaac and Rebekah had fertility problems. They were married for 20 years before Rebekah conceived. As Esau and Jacob grew up their parents made a major mistake. The parents chose favorites and sibling rivalry flourished. When Esau came in hungry and asked his brother Jacob for food do you remember Jacob’s reply? What’s in it for me? I want your birthrite. Now where do you suppose Jacob had learned that attitude?

Some time later when Isaac was old and weak, Rebekah heard him ask Esau for venison and promise that he would bless Esau. Rebekah immediately set Jacob to deceive his father and steal Esau’s blessing. There is some more of that ‘what’s in it for me attitude’. Jacob bought Esau’s birthrite, he stoled Esau’s blessing, he lied to his father, and even said he was able to fix the meat so rapidly "because the LORD thy God brought it to me". (Genesis 27:20) Isaac asked to feel his hands because he heard Jacob’s voice and obviously knew his son was not always honest. Jacob’s name means ‘supplanter’.

When Esau knew that his brother had taken his blessing he made the statement that when he finished mourning for his father, he would kill his brother. So Rebekah had Jacob run away. Esau rebelled and married a Canaanite woman. I wonder why he didn’t think following his father’s advice was a good idea? A Canaanite woman was a daughter of Ishmael the ill conceived and un-accepted son.

When Jacob got to his uncle’s house he fell in love with Rachel. We know this story also. Jacob worked for 7 years so he could marry Rachel and his father-in-law tricked him. Then Jacob worked another 7 years before he married Rachel. He had been tricked into marring a woman he doesn’t want. Then he marries the woman he loves. Sibling rivalry has just jumped up again, but this time between his wives and their servants.

Leah had 6 sons and 1 daughter. Each of their maids had 2 sons, and then Rachel conceived and bore Joseph. After returning to Jacob’s father’s land Rachel dies giving birth to Benjamin.

Now wouldn’t you think the Jacob had learned something along the way? He has run in fear from his brother. Jacob has lost contact with his father and his mother. Jacob spent 20 years in exhile. Surely he has mastered family relationships by now.

No, Jacob plays favorite’s. Genesis 37:2-4 "These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives: and Joseph brought unto his father their evil report. Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours.

And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him."

I believe that one of the worst things we as parents can do is have a favorite. Now, I’m obsessive about this but we must pray that God will not allow us to show favoritism among our children. Each child is a unique individual that God created for a purpose. When we hold one child up as being better, prettier, etc. we are implying that God made a mistake in the other child. Psalm 139:14 "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

Psalm 139:16 "Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them."

God formed each individual and he makes no mistakes. We must be careful to not cause another to feel inferior or imperfect. Jokes can be cruel. Ridicule is the sharp edge of a sword. Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof."

Joseph was able to stand against horrible conditions, even knowing that his brothers hated him enough to sell him. Joseph knew two things; Jehovah God is always good and that his parents loved him.

Brother Jeff preached on Zacheus some time ago. Do you understand that the reason Zacheus changed when Christ spoke his name was love and acceptance?

Pray that your children will be protected from feelings of rejection. Some times rejection is very subtile. When I was a teenager we had a girl in our youth group that had to always have a friend with her. Now that doesn’t sound like a problem does it? However, she had established in her mind an order of who was more socially acceptable then another. If a friend ask her to do something that was great, but if another friend higher up the social ladder ask her to do something at the same time, she would cancel the first plans to be available for the second. Watch for this behavior in your children or toward your child.

I’m sure that all of you have heard the expression ‘failure to thrive’. That is a medical term that means a lack of will to live. Often the term is associated with lack of sufficient physical contact. Our children need to know our touch, not just in discipline, but a hug or a pat on the back. Make sure you tell your child often that you love them. Tell them when they make you proud.

Make sure that you teach you children John 8:44 "Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it." Satan wants you to feel defeated and unloved. He will lie to you and to your children.

Then we must emphasize to our children that no matter what happens God always loves them. Romans 8:39 "Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

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