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For Titus 2 Men and Women.org.
http://www.titus2menandwomen.org

This lesson is being written in the feminine gender because the majority of abuse victims are females. If you are male, please substitute he or him for she or her.

There is a huge amount of mistaken thinking about what abuse is and how it affects an individual. Sadly, some of that mistaken thinking is believed by those who were abused. There are people who say that it doesn’t matter how old a child is when they become sexually active. There are people who believe that only rape is abuse. There are people who claim that the abuse happened a long time ago so it doesn’t matter now. Have you accepted any of these wrong ideas as truth?

When a baby is born it is completely dependent on its mother or caregivers. The child is innocent with no knowledge of love, hate, violence or protection. The child is unable to do much of anything but breath, eat, cry, wiggle and blink. As the child grows and matures it learns to sit, roll over, stand, walk, talk, etc. The child’s physical, mental, emotional and spiritual development is gradual. As an example consider the scripture that refers to Jesus, the Son of God’s growth from the baby in the manger to adulthood.

Luke 2:52 "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man."

A young child doesn’t know the difference between boys and girls. They have no concept of sexuality because their body’s hormones have not begun to function. It is only as we begin to develop that the hormones cause us to begin to notice and feel sexual differences and to become curious about those differences. When a child’s innocence is destroyed by abuse, she loses her childhood. One of the steps to healing is to mourn that loss. Never having been allowed to be a little girl, to learn about growth and development as her body matures is a devastating loss. The grief is as deep as the death of a close family member. There are 5 commonly accepted steps of grief. They are:

1. Denying the loss
2. Anger or a desire for revenge
3. Attempt to negotiate or correct what happened
4. Sorrow that includes mourning
5. Acceptance

Many abused girls and women deny that they were ever abused. They stuff the pain and betrayal so far down inside themselves they don’t consciously remember the circumstances. They may remember the circumstances but believe that because it was a loved and trusted family member  that it wasn’t abuse. It would have been abuse if the perpetrator had been a stranger. Denying that the abuse ever occurred prevents the abused person from healing. The abuse becomes a deep-rooted infection that will fester and ooze when the conditions are right. The basic issue is that the first step that every abuse victim goes through is denial. And many never get past that --- they become completely locked into this captivity. The silence of denial is one of Satan’s chains to bind a woman’s spirit so she can not know the peace of God in her life.  Are you locked in denial of the abuse that you experienced?

The next step is acknowledging what happened. Satan is holding you in bondage by NOT talking about it. This is the part of power of James 5:16, "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." There is healing power in the simple act of getting it out into the light of day (confession). Satan uses "secrets" (anything that's hidden is secret) to hold us captive. Sometimes all it takes to break that power is to expose it to the light. Have you acknowledged and talked about your abuse?

BUT this is only step 2 of a long and complex process! Many women do make it to step two and then OFTEN stop there, thinking that's enough! But if you stop at step two, you are actually staying in a different form of denial. You are saying, "OK, it happened, now I'll go on with my life." But there's no healing at step two. Are you ready to speak up and step out to find healing?

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