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I had begun to keep a journal a couple years before and at this time keeping a journal became a truly invaluable tool as I recorded day-by-day what God showed me from the Word.  Of course, I took this situation in my marriage to Him for answers.  For about a year, He showed me one thing after another than He wanted to change in my life.   As I obeyed, there would be something more.

Meanwhile things continued to get worse at home.  Then God began to show me things in the Word about our family situation.  He showed me the consequences for specific courses of actions.  And we began to experience crisis after crisis, which gave Brent the opportunity to turn toward or away from God.  Time after time, his choice was to turn away.  Some close friends began hinting that they felt someone should report us to the authorities for conditions in our home, but they didn't want to do it. 

The climax came the day after Christmas that year.  During an argument about another of his dishonest financial decisions, Brent became enraged and punched his hand through a window.  There are not words to describe the horror of that event.  Brent was taken to the hospital where he underwent complex surgery to reconstruct his hand.   He missed an artery by only 2 mm, severing muscles and tendons in a way that would have left him crippled just a few years before when micro-surgical techniques had not yet been developed.   While Brent was in the hospital emergency room waiting for surgery he apologized for his violence.  At that point, I didn't know how to respond.   I had heard it so many times before and I just didn’t know what to do anymore.  And within 24 hours of his return home from the hospital, Brent returned to his former behavior, though it was limited to verbal abuse since he was unable to be physically violent at that point.

I was so traumatized by the events of that day I literally could not sleep or eat for days afterwards.  Day after day, I spent all night praying for guidance and being in the Word.   I also looked back in my journal and realized that God had been telling me to flee for four months.  I just couldn't accept that because I believed that the sanctity of the family was supreme.  I believed that if a wife were godly, God would change her husband.  But the truth is that God will never violate a person's free will.  He may allow and use circumstances to be so persuasive it would seem no one could resist.  But he will never force a person to change, no matter how much we may pray for it.  And God wasn't finished trying to get Brent's attention; He doesn't give up on His children!  If the boys and I didn't get out of the way of God's consequences for Brent's life we were going to experience the pain too.  And with the increasing nature of the issue, that pain could even include death.  I had a responsibility as a parent, in the eyes of God and the eyes of the law, to protect my children.  Until this point of extremity, I never realized there was a place in Scripture for separation.  I was amazed to see what the Word had to say about it once I abandoned my preconceived idea that it was totally out of the question.

My church was surprised by my sudden actions because I had never told anyone what was happening. Brent is a very quiet and mild-mannered man.  No one would think he could possibly have done what we knew he did.  I told my pastors that I would be reconciled to Brent at the first sign of genuine repentance. After three months Brent's attitude changed.  He began to voluntarily acknowledge what he had done and to apologize for it.  During this time, he was also taken off the drugs.  After another three months of rebuilding, our marriage was reunited.

However, within about six months of our reconciliation Brent began retracting what he had said before.  He began blaming me again and gradually the violence began to increase. Eventually, Brent told me that one of our pastors had told him I would reconcile with him if he expressed genuine repentance.  I know that the pastor was just trying to be helpful, but it only prolonged the eventual agony. 

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