[ Previous Page ]     [ Next Page ]        Page:

--Are you afraid of losing some degree of control or power if you should resolve the conflict? [I lived right here for many years.  God wants to make us a new creature with a new mind in Christ but that can oftentimes cause us to fear the unknown.  Many wrestle, as I did,  with the known of who they are and the unknown of  who they will become.]

--Give up your right to revenge and retribution.

[How is this possible?  Surrender your will to the will of God

Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

We can forgive without surrendering our ‘desire’ for justice (closure) by surrendering our past to God, the judge of the universe.  We must believe, and remind ourselves often, that God will repay it all in His time.  His justice will be fully satisfied...without our help.

1 Peter 2:23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

1 Peter 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.  ---Sharon]

What Forgiveness Is Not:

Myth I

"If I forgive, I also have to forget."

Myth II

"Forgiving him is impossible.  I’d like to see you do it."

Myth III

"I just don’t feel like forgiving."

Myth IV

"I shouldn’t grant forgiveness unless the other person is willing to respond."

Myth V

"Forgiveness means acting as if nothing happened."

Myth VI

"I have to forgive immediately."

FORGIVENESS AND FELLOWSHIP ARE NOT SYNONYMOUS !

Six years in to my healing process and many years ago my pastor taught me the truth of this and in doing so he forever settled my heart and spirit.  In passing  this teaching on  to others,  I see it give peace to those who, like I did, believe that if we forgive we can forget as if the wrong done to us never happened---giving us "never happened" fellowship with our offender.

My pastor helped me to understand that forgiveness brings some degree of fellowship ONLY if a bridge of fellowship is formed:  Only if I reached out to my mother with forgiveness AND she reached back to me in repentance, asking me to forgive her, could such a bridge be built.  When I realized that I had in total frustration with myself been trying to make an impossible relationship/fellowship happen without her repentance, God gave me peace and assurance that caused me to  finally accept that my part in forgiving was all that I could be responsible for. I almost killed my spirit hating myself for always failing at this.

[ Previous Page ]     [ Next Page ]        Page:

This page has been displayed 3 times this month, 33 times since October 12, 2008 .