Question: It (overcoming my problem) doesn't stay done and then I wonder if I meant it and I do it again.  I feel like there's something I'm not seeing. I know it should be clear to me, but it's not. I'm not telling God I won't do it...but then when it comes up again, I wonder if I just didn't mean it enough. I truly don't want to be rebellious. Do you just have to keep doing it (the right thing) over and over?

(I will use the name Joan in the text.)

Answer: Joan, picture your daughter as a child learning something new--let's say she became old enough not to eat with her hands at the table. She was finally old enough, and you knew she could use the silverware from now on.  So you began to teach her to use the silverware.

‘Hear’ your sweet daughter cheerfully tell you "Yes, mom, I will use the silverware because I am a big girl now." Did she have to keep telling you over and over that she would use the silverware in order to obey you? OR-- did she simply just have to act on what she knew she should do to be obedient to your will?

Silverware Joan....remember to use the silverware!

Joan, before using silverware became a habit did your daughter ever forget and start eating with her hands?  Why?  Eating with her hands was something she had done for quite awhile and, like every child, I am sure she forgot and just did it out of habit. Can you ‘hear’ yourself  remind her again and again that she was a big girl now and that big girls did things differently? I am sure, like every mother, you reminded her many times that she was old enough to use a spoon and a fork and that is what you expected her to do. So, once again, she probably apologized and started using the silverware to be in your will and to please you. And-- if she didn't she may have gotten a slap on the hand (at least my children did) as a reminder to obey this new rule of eating, because it was right, and your perfect will.  This illustration is just exactly what God does for us to encourage us to walk in His truth.  "My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:.... For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth,"  (Hebrews 12:5b-6a)

Joan, old habits take time to change.  When the old way of doing something comes back it just takes our reminding ourselves--or being reminded by God, or a friend-- that we need to do things differently now because we are old enough and ready to act on what we know to be true. "I rejoiced greatly that I found of thy children walking in truth,.... And this is love, that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment, That, as ye have heard from the beginning, ye should walk in it." (II John 1:4a, 6)

When you realize you are eating with your hands again, or when God, me, the other counselors, or pastor (figuratively slaps your hand) and reminds you , just pick up the silverware and start eating correctly...because you are old enough and it is right. I truly believe that we don't have anymore to teach you. We can now be your cheerleaders...pointing out when you have chosen to lay down your silverware:  The silverware of Bible reading, prayer, taking care of yourself, looking up and out instead of down and inward.

"For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God."

(John 3:20-21) "If ye love me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15)

You are going to make it to victory Joan and you are well on your way.

Stay with us We are going to push you--our love may get tough at times--but isn't that how you shaped your children’s behavior? "If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance" (Hebrews 6:6) When you slip....just remember to pick up your spoon and fork and do the right thing!

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