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Sexually Molested .... Should I Report It?
by Compiled by Sharon Merhalski, Commentary by Danette Tucker
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HOPE For Survivors Of Abuse

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After hours of prayer and much concern about the need for these articles, the women of Titus2MenAndWomen.org have brought together our hours of research. As you read through these articles we would like for you to be aware of the following: In order for this site to not be blocked by family filters on computers we have substituted the phrase "(word omitted)" for the word "sexual (ly)".

Sexually Molested...Should I Report It?

Does God Want Me To Report The Crime To The Police?

I do not understand.  I cannot comprehend how a child, teen or adult can be molested and get counsel from parents, spouses, and/or pastors NOT to report the crime...the c-r-i-m-e...the CRIME...to the police.  I can understand why a victim is hesitant to tell--especially when it is a child or teen:  It is common for sexual predators to threaten the lives of their victims and/or the lives of the victim’s parents and family.  However, I cannot find any Biblical support for not reporting crimes to the proper authorities!

I wish this failure to report abuse only happened once in a ‘blue moon’.  I wish I did not have to say it has become common practice.

I could write my heart--but instead I want to let scripture speak and then give you four hearts on this matter:  The first is a question that was asked of our web site counselors.  The first heart-response belongs to a mother whose daughter was molested by a ministry worker and the pastor insisted it remain hushed.  The second one belongs to a woman who was raped by a man in the church and not believed by her pastor so the incident went unreported to the police. (All three predators in those cases got away with their crimes.)  The third response belongs to me with a story of closure and healing.  This will close with a commentary by Danette Tucker.

What does God say about living under the laws of our land?

(Word definitions from the Strong’s Concordance in parenthesis.)

Romans chapter 13 verse 1.
"Let every soul be subject (obey) unto the higher powers (laws, jurisdiction). For there is no power (authority) but of God: the powers (freedom, magistrate, authority) that be are ordained (assigned, appointed) of God."

I Peter chapter 2.

13. "Submit yourselves (be obedient) to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king (foundation of power--judge, law of the land), as supreme;
14. Or unto governors (a leader), as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment (vindication, retribution, punishment) of evildoers (criminal--one committing a crime which is the breaking of a law of the land), and for the praise of them that do well.
15. For so is the will (purpose, desire) of God, that with well doing (duty) ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish (ignorant, stupid, morally unbelieving) men:"

Silence puts a sentence of depression on the abuse victim.

Don’t be afraid to tell someone you have been violated.  Don’t stuff your emotions for they will one day surface and you will explode or implode if you don’t download.  Tamar’s emotions were exceedingly damaged by her brother when he raped her. The Bible says a part of her remained desolate for the rest of her life.  Why?

"And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house."  II Samuel 13:20

Because her brother Absalom would not let her tell, a part of her remained internally desolate.  Tamar listened to her brother, and did not tell her father the King or anyone else.  She chose to remain silent...and desolate.

Word definitions from the Strong’s Concordance taught me that Tamar remained numb/devastated/lonely/depressed because she chose to remain silent. 

Is this true?  Yes, I lived with internal desolation for the first 34 years of my life because I didn’t tell anyone my mother had abused me.  Every woman I have counseled in the last twenty years that chose to remain silent has experienced that desolation in her life. 


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