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It was at this point in my healing process that I began to reach out to others with true love and compassion, rather than trying to please people to be accepted ... loved.  When I was able to love myself; see those things God created in me that were good and useable, then I was able to truly love other people and reach out with true compassion.

If you believe something you will act as though you believe it ... .

If a person believes he is dumb he will act dumb.  If  a person believes they are inept they will act inept. etc. For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: ... . . (Proverbs  23:7)

This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. (James 3:15)  Negative and distorted statements which a person repeats to himself come from the devil.  Your flesh accepts them without question and then, like spoiled, rotting, food, these words of mental poison create painful emotional aches and pains.  This diet of deadly toxins will kill you. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Romans 8:6

From my experience and the experiences of many, many women I have counseled, and after reading  many testimonies, I believe the biggest negative distorted statement that the devil encourages us to believe is that we, the victim, are to blame for the evil behavior of the abuser. It is usually assumed that the cause of this distortion/lie only came from the abuser.  However, in my case, and in many others that I know about, it also came from family members and/or others involved. 

My father and my brother used to tell me constantly If you wouldn’t_____, she wouldn’t _____.  My mother used to tell me constantly that she was the way she was because I caused her to be.  One statement that she uttered all my life almost killed me emotionally when I was a teenager.  She had constantly told me that I was driving her crazy.  When she went in to a mental hospital the devil almost caused me to accept that indeed it was all my fault.

When women try to convince me that they are guilty they caused the abuser to do evil things-- I always ask them to pretend that they are talking to a little girl who had been abused in the same manner that they were.  I then ask them to tell that little girl that she was to blame.  I have never had one woman who was able to do so.  This is usually the turning point in releasing their false guilt and a lot of anger with themselves ... as it likewise was for me.

Three steps to becoming the happy person you were meant to be:

1. Locate your misbeliefs.  Realize where you are telling yourself lies.
2. Remove them ... argue against them.
3. Replace misbeliefs with truth.  It’s nonsense to say that your unloveable and useless when you are loved with an everlasting love by the God of the universe.  In Him you have countless talents and uses and you are infinitely valuable.

Once we yank the irrationalities and lies from our thoughts and replace them with the truth we can lead satisfying, rich and fulfilling emotional lives.  These irrationalities are not easy to label.  Most of what we tell ourselves is not in word form.  Our thoughts are often images and attitudes without words attached to them.  (i.e. I may be fearful of a thing without knowing why.) ...

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