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- If someone else sweeps your floor, (or does any chore) they may be an individual
that just needs to stay busy. They may care about you and want to be a blessing
to you. They may feel you are overwhelmed with things that "you" must do and
know this is something they can do to make your life a little bit easier.
Mark 9:41 says, "For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my
name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose
his reward."
- Your spouse is not your child. It is very important that adults have free
time to restore themselves. Your free time may be spent reading, doing needlework,
fishing, golfing or something else. It is likely that your spouse would choose
to use their free time differently. They are not wrong or wasting time...they
just aren’t you. Genesis 2:2 says, "And on the seventh day God ended his work
which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which
he had made."
- Lists are tools. Use them wisely. Some people need lists to help them be
organized but there are things that don’t need to be on a list. As an example,
everyone knows that groceries must be purchased and for most people a grocery
list is a good idea. However, putting ‘go shopping’ on a chore list is not
needed. At that point the list is no longer a tool; it has taken over control
of your life. That list has every segment of your day or week accounted for
with no room for God to use you spontaneously. Psalm 90:12 says, "So teach
us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom"
- There are some things in life that can only be done correctly one way.
Some things must be done exactly the same way every time -- sometimes because
the Bible tells us, sometimes for product result, sometimes for safety, and
sometimes for crowd control. Most of the chores in our lives we do in the
way we learned or the way we have become comfortable doing the job. However,
other family members can do things their own way. Let me quote my dear friend,
Cloy, who says, "The way you do something is not ‘the right way’, it is just
your way." The method of doing a job is not nearly as important as the intent
of the heart. Ecclesiastes 9:9-10 says, "Live joyfully with the wife whom
thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee
under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this
life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. Whatsoever thy hand
findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor
knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest."
- Sometimes stepping away from your list is the most spiritual thing you
can do for your family. Jude 1:22 says, "And of some have compassion, making
a difference:"
- An individual who has already made up his mind, isn’t having a discussion...he
is trying to be the boss. A spouse that never has an opinion has probably
learned it is easier to do it your way than to fight about it. These people
will be complacent and go along with almost anything to avoid daily confrontations.
In fact, they choose their battles very carefully. Couples need to have a
free flow of ideas to grow strong marriages. Some of us have strong logic
skills and others are impulsive or emotional. By discussing things with open
minds we use each other’s strengths to build homes and families. In sharing
ideas we allow the Holy Spirit to flow through us. Isaish 55:8 says, "For
my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the
LORD."
- Love reaches past personal wants, while control is stuck on doing what
"I" want or think. Romans 12:10 says, "Be kindly affectioned one to another
with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;"
- In every strong marriage I have ever seen, possessions are all "ours."
Instead of "my house" it’s our home. "My car" becomes whatever model or color
car. God ordained one flesh and a unity that needs to over-ride self. Leaving
your parent’s home allows you as a couple to establish your home. This is
a joint endeavor not a way for one person to stockpile possessions. Genesis
2:24 says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall
cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
- Financial freedom -- not being accountable to another adult for every cent
-- says, "I trust you to do what is right for us." Have you ever asked your
spouse what their dream for the two of you is for ten years from now? You
may be surprised to find your mate has dreams and goals, too. Proverbs 6:6-8
says, "Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Which
having no guide, overseer, or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and
gathereth her food in the harvest."
- God has established order and I am not trying to say that disorder is acceptable.
1Corinthians 14:40 says, "Let all things be done decently and in order."
However, godly order allows time for the Holy Spirit
to use you. In most homes the floor doesn’t need to be vacuumed every day, but
the dishes need to be washed. The lawn needs to be mowed but it doesn’t have
to be edged. A few minutes a day on your knees weeding flower beds is great
daily prayer time and double use of your time. Cutting some of those flowers
and delivering them to an elderly friend on your way to run errands is a bonus.
Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto
good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them"
People often quote parts of Bible verses such as, "Money
is the root of all evil." (1Timothy 6:10), "All things work together for good."
(Romans 8:28) "I can do all things." (Phillipians 4:13) Sadly, many Christians
have the habit of parroting scripture verses or parts of verses without really
taking time to see if we are allowing God to apply the scalpel of the Holy Spirit
to our hearts. We don’t want God to hold a segment of our life under the microscope
of His word and urge us to give Him permission to operate. You see, each of
us has in some ways become comfortable with who we are or the way we do things.
Recovering from surgery is uncomfortable, but it is necessary for our spiritual
health.
Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart:
try me,
and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked
way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 90:12 "So teach us to number our days, that we
may apply our hearts unto wisdom"
God has control of the number of days we will live on this
earth. We cannot add to the number of our days, but we can live our lives so
each day will glorify God. We must allow the Holy Spirit to be in control.
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