Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. Supposedly these sentences actually
appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary
Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
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Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING
Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting &Prayer Conference includes
all meals."
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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:
"Searching for Jesus."
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"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
conflict.! !
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help
they can get.
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Darlene remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.
She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's
sermons.
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The Pastor will preach his farewell message after which the choir
will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person
you want remembered.
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Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment and
gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may
be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the
back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please
use large double door at the side entrance.
