Jokes You Can Tell In Church
Author Unknown
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered
to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest
day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then
said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast
as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran
she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late!" While she was running
and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes
dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off,
and started running again. As she ran she once again began to
pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't
shove me either!"
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged
on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested
no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service she wrote, "They wouldn't take me ; out while I was alive,
I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do
if you had to arrest your own mother?"
He said, "Call for backup."
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed
them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in
church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took
Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied "They couldn't
get a baby sitter."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with
her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to
"honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment
that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without
missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent
when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though
he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny
responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have
a wife."
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing strong
preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think
about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you
know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad."
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