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Crossley's Romanian Update
April 2002
Hello Everyone:
Children:
This last month has been a busy one with many adjustments for the entire
family. We have noticed a pattern that any time you bring in new children
you go through a two - three month adjustment period. The new kids have
come from an environment of no rules or guidelines, so basic things like
manners, appropriate behavior are basically non-existent! Not only will
they challenge your authority but every other authority over them (schoolteachers,
Sunday school teacher's etc.) just to see where the boundaries are and
how much they can get away with and pull over your eyes. The children
you already have also look at this as an opportunity to retest the rules,
which makes it a joyful time for all. You can look at a pattern and see
that the longer the child has been with you the less they will test the
rules. They are all doing much better and we are finally getting it through
that they do have to mind and do what we tell them to do.
Costi:
I thought you might enjoy a day to day view of some of the details that
we go through with the kids and Costi gives us "lots" of examples.
On the first day of school Costi came home (having only been their two
hours) and said school is done and there is no school tomorrow! It was
a special holiday just for him!!! Day 2 came and off he went, not convinced
that they made a holiday just for him (nice try though!). As he arrived
home, covered in dirt he informed us that some boys got in a fight with
him in the boy's bathroom. Day 3: a child comes to our door crying, saying
that Costi took his hat away and broke it. Costi looked so very surprised
that he was not suppose to do that and explained that the kid was pulling
on it and that is why it broke. Brian asked, Costi whose hat was it? Ah……
the boy's. So what were you doing with it? Ah……….I don't
know! Ok, you will have to buy him a new one with money that you earn
and made him apologize to the boy. I began to dread what new problem would
accompany Costi though the door each day as he arrived home from school.
The following day he came home from school covered in an oil like substance
(and I mean covered!). When asked what happened he said a child threw
gasoline on him and pointed to the front of his shirt. When Brian asked
what happened here (pointing to his pants) he hesitated then said, ah,
ah another kid threw some there. Brian turned him around and said Costi,
what about here (pointing to his back) and said, I know, I know a third
kid did this right! By now Costi realized we were not buying it and admitted
that they had just polished the floors at school with some oil and for
whatever reason, he decided it would be a good idea to flop himself down
and roll in it! Brian very calmly asked him, Costi why did you feel the
need to help polish the floor with your body? He had no idea and just
shrugged his shoulders. It is very difficult to keep from smiling when
a child does something so stupid, just to do it! You have to wonder what
is going through their little minds. His teacher sent a note home saying
he was the worst kid she had ever had and was disrupting the entire class,
which I had cause to believe! We made Costi sit down and right out a note
apologizing to the teacher and asked if he could have an opportunity to
apologize to the entire class. Brian then went through a training lesson
on what would be allowed in class. He could sit, he could listen, he could
write and he could talk only when the teacher asked a question and oh
yeah, he could breath and that was it! No flopping on the floor, no taking
over the class, no taking kids hats, backpacks or anything else away,
no fighting, no breaking anything and no lying. He went over and over
this showing him how he could sit and making sure he understood each detail.
We also told him that the teacher would be sending a note home daily to
let us know how he behaved and if he did not behave exactly like we told
him he would get in trouble at home. And this was only Day 4! It has been
two weeks now and so far he has done well and the teacher said, he is
now the best kid in her class. You just gotta hope it lasts! Costi is
a very sweet kid but has NO idea what is appropriate so we have lots of
training ahead of us. And this is only one of nine! We were blessed with
him being very open to the gospel and asked how to be saved. We explained
everything to him and he came to us one night and said he asked Jesus
to forgive him of his sins and to please save him. PRAISE OUR AWESOME
GOD!
School:
Getting the new kids registered for school was quite the experience.
I had to have birth certificates, medical releases and permission from
three different locations to allow them to go. This took a week and a
half of running from this place to that, getting medical examinations
done and pleading with the director of the local school to allow them
to go. At one point (she spoke English) she asked me if I felt like these
children had a chance? I couldn't believe that she said that, and replied;
absolutely! I would not bring them into my home if I did not believe that
they will flourish and be a contributing citizen to Romanian society.
She smiled and replied, all right I will give my approval if, the main
director over all the schools gives his approval. Fortunately three days
later we received his approval. The day the children were finally granted
approval to attend school I had to go to one location first ( I am not
at all sure why, considering we just sat on a couch until the director
saw us) then we were allowed to go down to the school. It was 9:00 and
when we went into the school children were running up and down the stairs
and playing in the classrooms and there were NO adults anywhere. We asked
several of the older kids where the teachers were and were informed that
they were having coffee in a small room down the hall. When we knocked
at the door there they were smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee. Both
Nico and Costi's teacher brought them upstairs to introduce them to the
class then informed us that they had to be at school at 7:30. Yes, I did
wonder, why? If the class doesn't "really" start until 9;00
why do they need to be there so early. I have learned not to even ask,
(it doesn't do any good and the answer never makes sense to our way of
thinking anyway) just smile and thank them for their time. I still haven't
figured out the schedule. Our kids go to 4 different schools and they
all have their way of doing things and can change things with no notice
at all. I did get a kick out of the supply list for Denisa's school. They
requested toilet paper and soap for the whole school and also listed special
math books (4) for her. Denisa is in Kindergarten! When Brian asked Denisa
what she did in Math, Denisa looked confused and said "what's that".
It has been our experience that each school will ask us for much, much
more than the child needs to help supply the needs of the other students
and their own students at home assuming that as American's we can afford
it !
Housing:
We have to move into a new house by this July and I have started looking
for a place. I am running into trouble because nobody wants to rent to
9 kids and I really can't blame them. I know our children are good and
not allowed to tear things up but they don't know that! We would like
to not have to keep moving the children (they have so many adjustments
to make as it is and that is one more) so we are looking into the possibly
of buying something. It is also very, very common here to rent something
and they immediately start raising the rent (knowing you don't want to
have to go through the process of moving again). From what we can see,
anything within a close distance of Brasov is very expensive. There are
places that are much cheaper if we are willing to drive 40-50 min. which
really isn't a big problem because we don't have to come into Brasov more
than 2-3 times a week. If we can find something in a village the price
drops considerably to around 10,000. - 15,000. They will still need major
remodeling as most of the places here have individual rooms and you have
to go outside to go from one room to another and the back portion of the
house often has only a dirt floor (for animals). They usually do have
a well but no indoor plumbing and you have to also bring in gas and telephone
(which can take awhile). All of them have an outhouse (fun), so a septic
system would need to be installed. Most of the village houses do have
a garden area and a place for the children to play. To be able to purchase
something with all the utilities in place you are looking at between 60,000-150,000
and up. Another problem is that they will not allow you to pay things
out in time. The legal system is so slow here and no body wants to risk
you not paying. As you can see we really, REALLY, need your prayers about
all this. I do know the Lord has not brought us this far to leave us with
no place to go with all these children. PLEASE, PLEASE MAKE THIS A
DILIGENT MATTER OF PRAYER. Our hope is that a Romanian will donate
a house. We believe in the power of prayer and our children are diligently
praying for a house and car. Please join us in this and watch what our
Lord does! Also please pray that the Lord would direct us to just the
right place. They do not have real estate agents, that we know of and
the way you go about finding a house is quite the experience. You drive
to the village you are interested in, find an older lady (they know everything
about everybody in town) befriend them and then you walk…..and walk…….talking
to this one and that one (which is not hard to do as they all come out
to see who this stranger is walking around their village). Most of the
roads are dirt and traveled by horses, chickens, dogs and sheep so you
better watch where you step! After a several hour process you may actually
get to see some houses but the price varies so much that you are not really
sure what it is. Just one village can take you a whole day and you are
beat at the end of it all. As you can see the process can take awhile.
The strange thing is that as I was doing this last week about 200 sheep
were walking beside me and it hit me, I didn't even think that was strange!
J I guess I am getting a bit used to life here!
We love you all,
Tamyra
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