Titus 2 Men And Women

During our Christian life we may find ourselves in an organized church which we grow to realize is promoting a different Gospel…one laced with legalism…a performance-based religion…and/or salvation by works.  None of that wrong teaching can ever bring fulfillment to our spirits. A personal relationship with Jesus Christ alone is our only source of healthy spiritual life…our source of real and lasting peace, joy and fulfillment.

I enjoy experiencing a healthy spiritual life.  However, there have been times in my 47 years as a Christian when, like many Christians today, my church life was barren because of hazardous additives…’toxins’.  

Jesus Himself referred to these ‘toxins’ as “the leaven of the Pharisees” (Luke 12:1). He told us that the Pharisees’ brand of religion, which looked good on the outside, was deadly—and contagious.
Have you been infected?

The following are quotes from several authorities on spiritual abuse.

“Spiritual abuse is the misuse of a position of power, leadership, or influence to further the selfish interests of someone other than the individual who needs help. Sometimes abuse arises out of a doctrinal position. At other times it occurs because of legitimate personal needs of a leader that are being met by illegitimate means. Spiritually abusive religious systems are sometimes described as legalistic, mind controlling, religiously addictive, and authoritarian.”  --David Henke

“Spiritual abuse can be difficult to detect at first if you have never encountered it. In a manipulative church, the pastor or senior leaders have subtly positioned themselves to take the place of the Holy Spirit in people's lives. They may try to put undue influence on the choices that people in their congregation are making. They might try to sway someone’s decision in a matter to keep them under their control, or to keep them from leaving the church.”   --Craig von Buseck  CBN.com Ministries Director

 “Spritual Abuse has turned Christianity into 'Churchianity' where the church and it's particular traditions have become more important than or at least equal to, the Word. 'Denominationalism' and 'traditionalism' find their way into the teachings and become enmeshed so that no one can tell where Christianity begins and the traditions end.” --Baptist Deception.com

David Johnson & Jeff VanVonderen in The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse describe spiritual abuse well when he said: "It's possible to become so determined to defend a spiritual place of authority, a doctrine or a way of doing things that you wound and abuse anyone who questions, or disagrees, or doesn't 'behave' spiritually the way you want them to. When your words and actions tear down another, or attack or weaken a person's standing as a Christian- to gratify you, your position or your beliefs while at the same time weakening or harming another- that is spiritual abuse."

Fear is the motivation behind spiritual abuse.  Let’s remember that Jesus never motivated people out of fear.
“Fear is a form of manipulation, which the Bible calls witchcraft. Manipulation is sin. Instead of motivating people through love and a call to serve the body of Christ and reach the lost, a spiritually abusive minister will try to motivate through manipulation.

The apostle John is called the apostle of love because he wrote so much about our call as Christians to walk in love. 'There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear,' he wrote in 1 John 4:18.
By keeping people in fear, controlling spiritual leaders work to get good Christian people to build their religious kingdoms — by telling them that they are building the kingdom of God. We see this kind of prophet and priest in the book of Jeremiah. The controlling leaders are focused on their own needs being met, and the needs of the people are ignored.

Jesus was more critical of the religious leaders of His day than He was of the sinners, and for good reason. The Jewish leaders put false religious burdens on the people for the sake of their own prosperity.
They crush you with impossible religious demands and never lift a finger to help ease the burden. (Matthew 23:4)

In this case, as it is in controlling churches today, the people were burdened with rules and regulations that needed to be performed to gain the acceptance of the religious leaders — in that day the Pharisees. Today, it is the manipulative spiritual leader. Many Christians today find themselves bearing the heavy load of the religious baggage in an abusive system. Around the world, hurting churchgoers struggle to earn the favor and approval of a modern-day Pharisee, all the while thinking they are earning the favor of God.

The good news is that if you are in Christ, you already have God’s favor! And no amount of work for a spiritually abusive pastor will give you more acceptance than you already have.

Jesus recognized the burden that was being placed on sincere believers in His time, who just wanted to do what is right. He saw them as sheep without a shepherd, even though they were involved in the religious rituals in the temple and synagogues.
"They were bewildered (harassed and distressed and dejected and helpless), like sheep without a shepherd." —Matthew 9:36

In his book, Exposing Spiritual Abuse, Mike Fehlauer points out that Jesus saw these dear people as harassed:

“This word (bewildered) conveys the idea of some outside force pressing upon the people, causing them to feel weary, distressed and downcast. This outside force was the religious system that placed its emphasis on outward appearances. It was a system that promised peace based on one's ability to follow the prescribed rules and regulations. If one failed, then there was judgment.”

“Not having a shepherd didn't mean that the people lacked for those who told them what to do,” he continues. “There were plenty of Pharisees willing to do that. It meant they had no one to lead them to spiritual green pastures. A shepherd doesn't drive his sheep as cattlemen drive their cattle. A shepherd leads his sheep to a safe place where food is plentiful and where they can find rest.”….
The Christian seeking guidance from a spiritual leader must also be on the lookout for the dangerous trap of spiritual elitism that can produce an "us-and-them," or a “fortress” mentality. This is a telltale sign of spiritual abuse. A church or pastor with an elitist attitude teaches, if ever so subtly, that no other church or ministry is preaching the pure gospel — or at least, no one is preaching it the way they should, in other words, the way that he is preaching it. An elitist leader will discourage members from visiting other churches or receiving counsel from anyone who doesn't attend their church. If anyone breaks this rule, he or she is viewed as rebellious.

In 3 John 9–10:  Spiritual elitism is not a new thing in the church, but the apostle John rightly called it “evil.”....

If you find yourself striving to gain the acceptance of spiritual leaders, or if your church constantly requires more and more of your life with no end in sight — and little encouragement along the way — then you may want to re-examine the church you are attending.” --Craig von Buseck CBN.com Ministries Director

“Spiritual abuse has a devastating effect on people. A very high level of trust is often placed in spiritual leaders. It is, and ought to be, expected that the trust will be honored and guarded. When such trust is violated the wound is very deep. Sometimes the wound is so deep that the wounded person cannot trust even a legitimate spiritual authority again.

An analogous situation exists with the victims of incest. The emotional and psychological symptoms exhibited by victims of incest parallel those of spiritual abuse to a remarkable degree. The main symptom is the inability to relate normally to people who represent the source of their emotional injury.

Besides an unhealthy fear of, and disillusionment with, spiritual authorities, the spiritually abused person may find it difficult to trust even God. "How could (or why did) He let this happen to me?" Anger is also deeply felt. Anger itself is not always wrong - God Himself expresses anger at such spiritual abuse (see Biblical Response, above). However, even legitimate anger, if not properly channeled and dealt with, can degenerate into bitterness and cynicism toward everything spiritual. 

Healthy recovery from spiritual abuse must begin with understanding what has happened and how. A victim usually thinks he is the only one experiencing these problems. Just being able to give a name to the problem is important. There are many books on the subject that will be helpful in learning about spiritual abuse and recovery.

Afterward the abused person must learn the true nature of God's grace, love and forgiveness. This is the foundation for being able to eventually forgive the abuser. Being able to share the experience and what has been learned so as to minister to someone else's need is also very important.” -- by David Henke

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