Titus 2 Men And Women

"Happy Holidays!" is a greeting we hear often at this time of year - but if you are grieving the loss of a loved one, going through a divorce, in a domestic violence situation, a survivor of abuse or post-abortive, the holiday season may be anything but happy for you. Perhaps there is no time of the year when we are more aware of the pain or unhealed issues in our hearts than during the busy holiday season.

Although there are no simple guidelines that will make it easy to cope with your grief or pain during the holiday season, our hope is that the following suggestions will help make your personal experience with holiday blues more tolerable: 

--As Christians, the most healing and beneficial thing we can do is to choose where we will set our thoughts/focus: On our memories and our immediate situations or on God and others. It is our choice and we can control our thoughts. God says we can bring them into subjection.
Colossians 3:2 "Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth."
Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you." The internal peace of God and rejoicing in His goodness can certainly ease a sad and painful heart.

--Talk about your circumstance. You will help yourself heal by finding people who will listen and help you feel understood.

--Be tolerant of your inability to function at optimum level during the holiday season. Your difficult feelings will probably leave you feeling fatigued and your energy level will naturally slow you down.

--Eliminate unnecessary stresses. Don’t over-extend or over-commit yourself. While you don’t want to isolate yourself, part of keeping your levels of stress in check is to respect your need to have time for yourself. Keeping busy is not the answer to keep from thinking about the painful issues of your heart. It increases stress and just postpones the need to talk out whatever is troubling us.

--Be with people you find supportive and comforting. Work to identify those people around you who understand the holiday seasons heighten your difficult feelings and allow you to talk about your experience. Avoid people that want you to constantly maintain a "happy face."

--Do what is right for you during the holidays. Well-meaning friends and family may try to prescribe to you what you should do during the season, specifically, on the holiday itself. Discuss your plans with a trusted friend who won’t judge the decisions you make about how and with whom you will spend your time.

Holiday Blues/Depression:

The feelings of Holiday Blues can be intense and unsettling, holiday blues are generally short-lived, lasting only a few days to a few weeks around the holiday season (prior to or just after). These seemingly contradictory emotions usually subside after the holiday season and a daily routine is resumed. 

It is important to distinguish between the blues, which often subside after the holidays and clinical depression, which often requires professional help and/or treatment. We often use the term "depression" to describe feelings of: sadness, unhappiness, stress, fatigue, or a generalized sense of dis-ease, but it does not meet the definition of

Clinical Depression:

If you are feeling depressed-- CALL SOMEONE--a friend, or family member, your pastor or physician. Anyone having suicidal thoughts should seek immediate care, either through their own doctor or through the nearest hospital emergency department. Call 911, your local suicide hot-line or Crisis Intervention Line, located in the Yellow Pages.

To know what to do to help yourself let your family and friends help you.

How Family and Friends can help:

The most important thing anyone can do for the depressed person is to help him or her get an appropriate diagnosis and treatment. This may involve encouraging the individual to stay with treatment until symptoms begin to abate (several weeks), or to seek different treatment if no improvement occurs. 

The second most important thing is to offer emotional support. This involves patience understanding, affection, and encouragement. Do not ignore remarks about suicide. Report them to the depressed person's family or therapist.

Do not accuse the depressed person of faking illness or of laziness, or expect him or her "to snap out of it." Eventually, with treatment, most people do get better. Keep that in mind, and keep reassuring the depressed person that, with time and help, he or she will feel better.

Mild exercise, going to a movie, a ballgame, or participating in religious, social, or other activities may help.

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