Titus 2 Men And Women

Would someone else like to teach this lesson? I hate to say this but I really messed up in this area as a parent. I prayed that each of my sons would accept Christ as his Savior. I prayed that God would give them each physical safety. I prayed for the girls that would one day become their wives. I did some of this praying for your kids stuff right but what might the difference have been if I had always prayed first?

Oh, I prayed about the friendships if they didn't seem right but I should have prayed before the friendships were formed. I grieved over the messes my boys got themselves into but I should have prayed that the Holy Spirit would keep them from the temptation. I prayed that God would use the messes to touch their hearts but I should have prayed that God would give them wisdom to avoid the messes and witness to their peers.

Those of you with very young children are still in control. Your child has no friends or contacts that you don't pre-approve. Hurray! As much as possible, for as long as possible, keep it that way. For those of you with older kids your life is a bit more difficult.

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

When God gave me this referrence this week, I thought He made a mistake. I have heard many sermons that used this verse as the primary text. The sermons that used this verse as a promise to parents were easy to listen to. If you bring your child to Sunday school and church, everytime the doors are open, then, even if he wanders away from God, when he is old he will come back to the truth. That interpretation sounds good but it's wrong.

There have been sermons on "train up a child". Twist him, force him to conform, prune out the bad influences just like you would train a plant. This makes a good illustration and I've used it but I believe I missed something.

Then there were the sermons that used this verse as a club to batter parents. If your child doesn't jump everytime you yell frog, then you are a failure. If your child is in trouble, then you are a failure because the verse says"train him right and when he is old he will not depart from it." I have problems with that also. That is an awfully heavy burden for a parent to bear. In that interpretation the child's sinful nature and free will have no place. A person that believes all of their bad choices are someone elses fault is going to have a very hard time recognizing himself as a sinner in need of a Savior.

Each of you could probably name families where this teaching falls apart. Let me give you an example. I know of a couple that raised 4 children. The parents were saved before they married and were active Baptist church members all of their married life. They served in many offices in the church, always had their children in church, they even sacrificed to send their children to Christian schools starting in kindergarden. They had family devotions regularly. Now how are things in their adult children's lives?

One child is a high school teacher in a Christian school. One child is a pastor. One child is married for the third time and employed at a hospital. The fourth child is a bank officer and will not enter the door of a Baptist church except for a family wedding or funeral. All four had the same training yet the results are different. So what does this verse say? Well, I got out my Strong's Concordance and started looking up every word. Let me share what I found.

Train: narrow

Child: infancy to adolescence

Way: trodden road, course of life

Go: mouth, speech, talk

Old: aged man

Will: inclined to

Depart: turn off

So if we substitute these word definitions Proverbs 22:6 reads: Narrow up an infant through adolescent childs pattern's of speaking and when he is an aged man he won't be inclined to turn off from it.

Now that is an interesting concept. Is your child sassy? Narrow up. Does Uncle Ralph swear? Narrow up. Does Aunt Susie gossip? Narrow up. Does Mommy yell? Narrow up. Is Grandma sarcastic? Narrow up.

Learn Proverbs 15:1-4 "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness. The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good. A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit."

Some of you have probably done Beth Moore's Breaking Free Bible study and you have already done the lessons on generational sin. This is an area of your child's life where generational sin can have a mighty impact. Sometimes the only way to prevent your child from following the bad example of Uncle Carl is to limit their association with Uncle Carl. In other words, if Uncle Carl stops by smelling of beer go outside and talk to him by his car. Don't invite him into your home. Keep your home pure and a safe haven for your children.

I do want to say that I believe that all areas of a child's life needs to be trained and that the same principle applies. Teach them while they are young and they will carry it with them throughout their lifetime. Before you see sibling rivalry in your children, pray that they will be friends rather than rivals. Before your child begins a new sport, pray about their coaches, teammates and other parents. Before your child gets a job, pray about the people they will work with as well as the hours they will need to work.

Then, I would like to encourage you to train your children while they are young. I know sometimes you are tired or busy but while children are young they "want" to please you. Establish Bible values and Godly conduct while they are young. Be consistant even when you don't feel like it. Walk and talk the example. Always be ready to apologize when you offend. When you need to ask your child's forgiveness also ask them to pray with you. Let them hear you confess the 'sin' to God and ask for His help to do better. Your children believe your actions faster then your words.

When your children are young you can teach them and while you are teaching talk to them. Ask them questions. Listen to their answers. When they ask you a question answer them honestly. If they tell you something they are concerned about, stop and pray with your child, then check back later to see how the concern turned out.

Then teach them to be your friend. By the time your children have become teenagers your teaching should be nearly complete. Now you stand stedfast in the established rules and encourage them to be your friend. Knowing that they can always talk to you about anything.

Think about your nuclear family; Are there areas where you need to narrow the acceptable actions, words or tones of voice?

Then expand that thought to your extended family.

Then carry the thought to include your friends and your child's friends.

Pray always for wisdom and discernment.

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